I woke up at 6:21am this morning. This hasn't been so unusual since I started using the "brainwave tuner" app before bed. My alternative doc recommended it--he knew I had insomnia even w/o my saying anything about it--and they lent me a magnet contraption that channels the brainwaves to my head. (Yes, you can just listen to it on your tablet/phone, but you need to listen to it for at least 30 minutes.) I've been falling asleep without melatonin since I started using this app! And, I sometimes wake up about an hour before my alarm rings.
Anyway, the point of the story is that I had time to take a leisurely shower and then sat on my couch and listened to my youtube playlist before heading to work. I feel terrible for not hurrying, and for not using every extra minute I gained by waking up at 6:21am. Why is it so hard for me to enjoy the gift of time? Today is the last day of class, and I don't have a whole lot of prep work to do, so why hurry hurry hurry? Moreover, I'm a little sick and tired of the academic year now. I really want a break.
All my friends are also sick and tired of teaching. Students don't care, and here in HK, you can't even downgrade them for missing classes, and the majority of students only care about their grade, not knowledge. I want a bit of time away from all this. Well, classes end tomorrow, and then students have some time to work on their finals. I'll have a lot of grading to do in May, and then I can say goodbye to this part of my work for the summer. I can't wait, I really can't wait. And I'm pretty sure I'll need alcohol to get through the grading.
This turned into a rant. But originally, I wanted it to be an observation about how guilty I feel when I'm not rushing about. I'd like to feel energetic, but also relaxed. I'm usually either energetic and stressed, or tired and slow and stressed. I'd like to be full of get up and go, but I'd also like to be fully aware that our God is the Author of Time. He has not only designed me to work, but also given me the right amount of time to get that work done.
Anyway, the point of the story is that I had time to take a leisurely shower and then sat on my couch and listened to my youtube playlist before heading to work. I feel terrible for not hurrying, and for not using every extra minute I gained by waking up at 6:21am. Why is it so hard for me to enjoy the gift of time? Today is the last day of class, and I don't have a whole lot of prep work to do, so why hurry hurry hurry? Moreover, I'm a little sick and tired of the academic year now. I really want a break.
All my friends are also sick and tired of teaching. Students don't care, and here in HK, you can't even downgrade them for missing classes, and the majority of students only care about their grade, not knowledge. I want a bit of time away from all this. Well, classes end tomorrow, and then students have some time to work on their finals. I'll have a lot of grading to do in May, and then I can say goodbye to this part of my work for the summer. I can't wait, I really can't wait. And I'm pretty sure I'll need alcohol to get through the grading.
This turned into a rant. But originally, I wanted it to be an observation about how guilty I feel when I'm not rushing about. I'd like to feel energetic, but also relaxed. I'm usually either energetic and stressed, or tired and slow and stressed. I'd like to be full of get up and go, but I'd also like to be fully aware that our God is the Author of Time. He has not only designed me to work, but also given me the right amount of time to get that work done.
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