Yeah, it's crazy how much I think about baddy these days. Outside of work, I spend most of my time on court, and even when I'm not on court, I think about baddy too. Part of it has to do with how I'm obsessed about making certain changes to my game and I drive myself nuts because I can't seem to change my muscle memory. (Years of playing a certain way will do that to you.) And a part of it has to do with what I'm learning about grace.
As a single woman, I'm always, always, always so thankful for my platonic guy friends. That I love my girl-friends goes without saying. But the world often doesn't recognize that we all need healthy relationships with folks of both genders. (I'll save that rant for another time.) On court, the guys--most of whom are way better than us girls--have been "yelling" at me because I play poorly, and I probably sound like a masochist, but I am so grateful to them. Because one cannot quickly change the way one's muscles work, they have to correct my form repeatedly, and that is grace on their part. Sometimes, I get yelled at so much that I feel demoralized and close to tears, but when I am able to think clearly, I know how privileged I am, and how my game will improve when I am able to institute these basic changes.
Last night, another woman was really struggling with her game because we were playing against a strong pair, and during our game, I realized I was starting to sound like Chi Wai, one of the men who has been helping me with my XD game. I parroted what Chi Wai says to me all the time: "It's okay, don't worry, just relax." "It's okay, it's just a game, no problem! Don't worry, just play." My friend's game slowly got better, and after that session she thanked me at least three times. When I checked Facebook after getting home that night, she had sent me a message with just two words. "Thank you."
I realized for the first time how extending grace to others in the club is important because I've been given so much myself. Of all the girls in our club, I get yelled at the most, so I know how terrible it feels to be a weak link in the team. But, I also know how amazing it is to have teammates who accept you as you are, but who also do the hard work of speaking truth into your life. That's community. And increasingly, I see how much grace is needed among the people with whom I play baddy. I don't see myself spending this much time on baddy in the future, but for now, it is teaching me so much about life and it gives me an opportunity to be blessed myself, and to bless others also.
Before bed, I finished a chapter of John Ortberg's
Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, and in the exercise section, he had a simple scale on which we can gauge how open we are to our communities, either care groups, family, or friends, etc. I was shocked to realize that I am the most open with by baddy community, followed by my care group here, and that I am the least open with my family. (I left out my close friends scattered all around the world.) What do I do with that?
