How many affect you?

I can see a few that affect me. Horror.

Imagine, indeed

Office

On a beautiful and sunny Friday afternoon.

German food

Fermented sardines or something like that.

Glad I tried it but I probably wouldn't have it again.

Dad jokes again

Dad jokes

Perfect timing

My head is about to explode from the weekend.

God is moving, and what does God want? To bring healing, freedom, reconciliation, blessings, etc.

And miracle of miracles, He wants the weak and the broken to participate in His mighty works.

Father, hallowed be thy name. On holy ground we stand.

Old city hall

University orchestra performance.

big

The more I learn about God, the more I realize that there is so much to find out. God is really the only one whom I will never outgrow.

The breastplate of righteousness

Tim Keller on the difference between guilt and conviction by the Holy Spirit :

Holy Spirit, "You have sinned, therefore you have to go to Him."

Demonic accusation, "You have sinned, therefore you have to leave."

Work and Rest

I think it's time to get serious about understanding why I don't necessarily have the best relationship to work.

But of course, it also means waiting for God to answer when He wants to! Waiting on God has become increasingly easier, maybe because I have more and more experiences with prayer--those that have been answered and those that haven't been! And in both cases, God is good.

By the by, the weather here is kinda weird. The fluctuations between hot and cold are wider and more frequent than I'm used to, so it throws me off. The administrator of the program says that in German, they call it "the cold of the sheep" because sheep are sheared of their wool in the summer, and when the temperatures dip in June and July, the sheep shiver too.

Very cute.

Storms

These days I feel like there are storms constantly battering at my mind. After some struggle, I emerge victorious for a day or two of peace before they start up again.

God is with me in my little shelter. But I look forward to the day when these are no longer challenges.

Duh....

God has a sense of humor. Last night, I was listening to a sermon by John Ortberg, and I realized that I assumed the wilderness was a mistake on God’s part. Did the Israelites get lost because God didn’t know where they were going?? Did God have a plan for that period of time?

I don’t know the answers yet because I haven’t studied the passages. But for sure it wasn’t a mistake or an error or a failing on God’s part.

Did he use the wilderness to punish? Or to refine? If He used it as a form of punishment, why send so many miracles? Can’t wait to learn more.

I'm listening to a lot of sermons because I'm trying to get away from TV, and because I'm just too tired to read.

struggle

I was listening to a sermon by Pastor Steven Furtick this morning. Furtick suggests perhaps that sometimes God doesn’t give us some things so quickly because we won’t see just how much grace we actually need.

God could’ve stopped the apostle Paul from killing Christians in the blink of an eye, but by allowing Paul to go on until the appointed time, Paul realized the depth of his need for Christ. In letting time pass before stopping Paul from persecuting Christians, God was setting up the stage.... Just think about the implications of this for five minutes.

This is really hard for me to accept because I so wish I had been healed earlier. I so wish that spiritual revival had come earlier, and that even now, spiritual renewal would go much faster than it's going. think snail's pace.

But God is God. If God decided to wait before He intervened in Paul's life, who am I that He’s not going to wait when it comes to me?

a summer that is and isn't quite a summer

There are so many things that I thought would happen by now.

I thought I would be done with the project by now. And most of it is, actually, so I shouldn't complain too much.

But I also thought I would be much more relaxed this summer. And I am more relaxed this summer, actually, so I shouldn't complain too much. I'm just not as relaxed as I thought I would be.

As it turns out, I have more work than I thought I would have. Whether or not I complete this work and how well I complete it has no bearing on the well-being of any other person on this planet besides me.

So I'm not working to please anyone else--at this moment--but it's an irony of this line of work that if I do not do work well, the person that is harmed the most eventually, is me.

A friend of a friend--my friend too, kind of--who works in the banking industry once said that I'm more like an entrepreneur than a teacher in some ways. And she's right. I think she actually understands the pressures of my job more than our mutual friend does.

If an entrepreneur doesn't work at his or her job, who suffers the most?

I can skive on teaching for sure, and then my students will suffer. But most of us don't skive on teaching because it just feels terrible. The first thing to go is always that other thing that brings us the greatest reward .... or punishment.

It's the first to go because it is the hardest to do, and because we are tired out after doing everything else. At this point, I'm tired because it's been an already long race, but I'm not done yet. There's a race after the race.

Can I give up on these races? I don't always know. At this point it's a maybe but not really. It doesn't feel like I can give up on it. Are our feelings true? Is this a feeling, or is this a judgment?

Well. What is true is that all good gifts come from God. I'll just do what I can even if I feel like I am stumbling and limping along. Sometimes, I'm just collapsed on the side of the road for awhile, but hopefully not for too long.

A few days ago, God said that 90% of my work is done when I just show up at the office. Meaning, He'll take care of everything else if I just sit in front of my computer. Fine by me. All You, Lord. It's all You.

work life

Friend M and I just spent a few minutes planning what we would do if we lived in the same city: empanadas, ayam masak merah, mint-lemon-bubbly water, and a little cat love.

What are we doing?

Trusting God

Less faith:

More faith:

But always on a journey.

Funny

Look at the trending words.

Saturday

Walked to the edge of the city to explore a park.

Should do more walking when I eat so much chocolate here.