of belated realizations

I've recently realized that gluten causes my skin to breakout, and that it is almost impossible to live gluten-free here because gluten is in almost all brands of soy sauce. I'm also crossing off spelt from my list of usable flours. 

ouch

I finally bit the bullet and went to the physiotherapy unit, and was told there that I need to take a break from all forms of exercise to allow my arm to recover. I think the entire clinic heard my exclamation of surprise. I went in thinking that my therapist would teach me better stretches (she did do that too), and I did not expect her to tell me that I cannot use my arm. Well, guess who's not telling her physiotherapist that she has an XD match on Sunday morning?

I also need to go back for several sessions of therapy. After my first session yesterday, my arm felt a lot looser and more relaxed....and also weaker. I don't think I can hold a racket right now. But, I won't be going to the gym or playing before Sunday's game, and luckily, after Sunday's match, I won't have another match until March, so I'll have time to let my arm heal. My arm already feels a little better after yesterday's treatment, and two days ago, the university finally installed a temporary keyboard drawer that allows me to work without putting stress on my wrist, arm and shoulder. (It only took them about four months to follow-up on my request.)

Once, when I was in college, I went to the health center for an appointment, and the nurse asked if I was an athlete. I said, yes, I play varsity squash, but why do you ask? She explained that women in general are more likely to put up with pain, and women athletes, even more so. The nurse said that they take female athletes very seriously when they complain about pain because it's more likely to be serious. I thought it was funny then, but I know better now.

I can't go into this in great detail now because I'm working on a new syllabus--classes start next week, yikes!--but I am very thankful for the church homegroup I've been attending the past five months. I learn a lot from the vulnerability and trust the group members show each other, and I learn a lot from the lessons they are going through right now. 

baddy, wow

I was super stressed before the women's doubles match, but we ended up doing fine. I'm now super stressed about the mixed doubles match. The games themselves are fun but I am often paralyzed by the fear of failure. My teammates have been great though, so I'm learning a lot. I'm certainly physically exhausted from playing too much last week, but the mental stress is taking a much larger toll. I need to either figure out how to be more relaxed, or quit playing in competitions.

I'm learning that I need to enjoy the game, and that playing each shot well is pleasurable on its own. I may not have a wide repertoire of shots right now, but I have enough so I should do what I can. Once more, I have to be patient as I can only grow as fast as grace allows.

It also helps to have kind and experienced teammates who do all they can to help me settle down in my playing style.

Update: I talked to an old, old friend about this and she said, "You stress out about everything! You're just a stressor!" Haha, yeah, I've come to that realization myself. I do need to figure out how to relax and have fun in life and work. After all, all I have to do is what God calls me to do, right? And He won't expect me to do what I am unable to do. (But, Lord, help me keep my job, haha.....)

nerves, nerves, nerves

We have our first women's doubles match this Saturday, and tempers are flaring. And no, it's not just mine!! At least two other people have gotten really mad over the past few days. I think the friend I told off last night understood why I was mad with what he did. I hope so. Our friendship will survive but boy, I know now that I can't always trust his judgment!

sons and daughters

This is a great blog post about what we all need to learn. Some of these lessons take a lifetime to learn.