too cute

At lunch today, House-member L described her boyfriend, House-member P, as a cross between Wolverine and Mr Darcy--high praise, indeed.

hard weekend over!

We spent this weekend on admissions decisions for next year's House-members. And while it was long and tiring, it was ten times better than last year's processes!!

1. We don't hate each other.
2. I didn't even need a drink after last night's 14-hour session.
3. Most of us may have lost a favorite candidate or two, but in general, we all thought it was a good compromise on most of our parts. I learned from last year's admissions processes that the slate of final candidates is always at best a compromise. There's no way 25 people will like the same people we will be admitting into the house when we only have a few spots open.

My friends and I were passing notes back and forth during debate (we're not allowed to talk except when we have the floor officially) and I think I laughed a great deal. Last year, I was close to tears for portions of the meetings. This year, we left the room with mostly good feelings about the work we did, but of course, there are always problems with the process and The House will continue to have discussions about how to improve it. I'm so glad that's over!

I'm so tired I can't think.

hard week

Lots on my mind. Got an email from my uncle yesterday saying that my dad has kidney failure. Fwded it to my mom, and she quickly wrote back saying that the doctors are not sure yet, and they still have to do a lot of tests. Spoke to both of them this morning and my dad sounded fine so I feel a little better, I guess.

Woke up in the middle of the night with anxious thoughts about the job market. I know that most people don't get jobs their first year on the market, but we're encouraged to apply as widely as possible anyway. I'm still sending things out but the thought of being rejected so many times is difficult. My last deadline for applications is Feb 1. This is a very long and drawn out process.

I'm already too emotionally involved with the admissions process here at The House. Even if I don't get a job--and I probably won't get a job--I won't be living here at The House next year. It's too tiring, and I want to focus all my time on the job market next year. I feel like I'm already doing a lot but maybe I could be doing even more. Well, life will just work itself out.

even more adrenaline . . .

The season of interviews and admissions is upon us at The House. We will spend the whole of this coming Saturday and Sunday debating and deciding on the eight new people who will live in The House next year.

Whoop dee doo.

herbs and multi-vitamins

For the past 3-4 years I've been a part of a reading group for Christian women who are either faculty, grad students, or staff at Cornelll, AND this year, women who are friends with any of the previous category have also joined us. Anyway. It's a great group.

I brought it up because a nutrition prof is one of the group's founders and we had a random conversation about how herbal supplements are made of herbs grown in the worst of soils . . . yuck! The lobby groups for herbal supplements are very strong and there's no regulation in that industry.

What will I do without echinacea pills the next time I have a cold? Hai. Friend Naomiobi said once that she takes multivitamins--I guess the next time I go to the store to replenish my fish oil capsules I'll get some too. Oh, and flu shot season has opened! I should get mine soon.

thankful

Went in this morning for a session with my chiropractor but he couldn't really help me out, so I went back again at 5:30pm. I was walking with a limp all day, but after the 5:30pm session, the limp was gone! I actually walked two blocks before I realized I wasn't thinking about every step I was taking, and I wasn't thinking about every step I was taking because it didn't hurt to take those steps anymore!!!

I still can't really bend over and I feel like someone's threaded a wire from the top of my right shoulder to my lower right back, but it's FABULOUS to be able to walk without pain. My mind is more alert now and I don't feel so doggone tired either.

sore back

Played badminton today for the first time in I don't know how long, but I ended up hurting my back after 40 minutes of not very intense play. I was preparing to serve when I felt a slight twinge in my back so I stopped for half a minute, then went on to play that point and another point beyond that. Then I really had to stop. Even though the pain wasn't very intense, it did restrict my movements and I thought it wouldn't have been wise to ignore the pain.

Walking back to the dorm from the gym usually takes about 15-20 minutes but tonight, it took me almost an hour to walk back because I couldn't take large or quick steps. I was literally putting one foot in front of the other. It's now a little better after a very hot shower, but I think I will have to try to get an appointment with my chiropractor for tomorrow.

You see? This is what happens when you spend all day in front of the computer.

trouble sleeping tonight

Lots to do tomorrow before I send off my application. Prof B bailed me out by writing the third letter I need for my application.Thank God.

Hope I'll be able to get to sleep soon.

"People are always looking for a religion that bedazzles and entertains, in which there is no waiting and no emptiness. . . . God provides a large, beautiful and complex creation in which we can live to the glory of God. God provides a painfully achieved, deeply wrought redemption so that we can experience the love of God. "For freedom Christ has set us free!" Then, in a moment of boredom, we turn our backs on all of that and say to someone or other, "Make us gods." Entertain us; pamper us; amuse us. Give us some supernatural gewgaw that we can play with. We abandon the awesome silence of worship and fill the air with tiresome discussions of circumcision or uncircumcision. We get tired of the strenuous life of freedom and faith and regress to the old slave religion that reduces God to a decoration or an amulet or a scar. We buy some religious idea or practice that we think will eliminate the pain of being human, banish all moments of emptiness and waiting. A living faith is traded in on an infantile religion" (142-143).

Taken from Eugene Peterson's "Traveling Light: Modern Meditations on St Paul's Letter of Freedom."

no respect

I'm really struggling with anger with a couple of my profs who have not written their recommendation letters for me. Some of the application guidelines state specifically that rec letters have to be postmarked by a certain date. And I've sent them email after email asking them to write my letters for me, and two of them have not replied AT ALL. That is just ethically wrong.

Another friend (who is now a prof at Upenn) told me that these two profs went down to the city for the opera this weekend, and then they were going on to the Jersey coast for the rest of Fall Break. I'm sorry. Opera? Jersey coast? Versus possibly getting a job?? I mean, couldn't they have written my letters BEFORE they went on their break? I understand that profs need to be protective of their time, and I think they should be. But this is ridiculous. They have repeatedly been unavailable. I think I've sent them at least 4-5 emails about this.

I'm really, really angry because two of my deadlines have passed, and two others are coming up (Oct 9 and 10). I hope I don't have to look them in the face any time soon because I don't think I can hide the fact that I have absolutely no respect for them at all.

fatigue

Paraphrased the gist of part of an email exchange with a prof re a draft I'm working on:

Prof. B: It looks like you're on your way to a good writing sample. You should do . . . bla bla bla and bla . . . But what happens after pg. 22?

Me: Oh, I don't know. I'm still writing.

One of the smartest decisions I made early on in my graduate career was to put Prof B on my committee. She doesn't work on my area AT ALL but she has been the most responsive re my job market materials.

I've been so tired the past two days that I could only work in the afternoon and in the early evening. This morning especially the whole of my upper back felt bruised and battered and I was so stressed out about my upcoming deadline on Monday that I decided to go back to bed, sleep until Pilates then try to work after that. Pilates did in fact release all the tension in my upper back, and thankfully, I managed to churn out my quota for the day.

Truly, what I manage to do, I do not do by my strength alone.