lesson #284945

I learned that when you have an injury, you sometimes feel like it will never heal, that the pain will never go away, and that you will never be able to do what you love again. Luckily, the shoulder sprain isn't too serious so I am feeling better and it is a very good feeling to have. I love being able to move more or less normally again!

My shoulder is still weak so I'm exercising with caution, and will only use very light weights so far. After a couple of days of exercise, some soreness is returning and that's making me a bit anxious. Hopefully my physiotherapist will have good news for me when I see her next week. I hope what I'm experiencing is a normal part of the healing process and not a sign that I've developed a chronic injury.

I promise to no longer be lazy about stretching my upper body!!

ps - the number of this post was random. this saves me from actually having to keep track of a series!

difficult

From Henri Nouwen's "Here and Now":

"Imagine your having no need at all to judge anybody. Imagine your having no desire to decide whether someone is a good or bad person. Imagine your being completely free from the feeling that you have to make up your mind about the morality of someone's behavior. Imagine that you could say: 'I am judging no one!' Imagine--wouldn't that be true inner freedom?" (60).

"But--we can only let go of the heavy burden of judging others when we don't mind carrying the light burden of being judged!" (61).

This is difficult to do because we are often surrounded by people who are abusive, manipulative, or who are so emotionally unhealthy as to be destructive to others. A part of me cannot suspend judgment even if I do recognize that such a suspension is necessary because it brings freedom to the self (and to others to, but more to the self). My conclusion? I think that Christianity is a faith that asks for a lot, and it is a faith that requires of its adherence a whole lot more of giving away of self than any other belief system (religious or not).

sick and tired

Well, it looks like I won't be allowed to exercise with my arm for at least another week. It's tough when you can't work out to get rid of stress!! October is a rough month for me because I have two work-related deadlines besides teaching prep. And my MA students are turning in short papers next week--50 papers to grade over Fall break!

I'm thankful for.....the good weather we've been having! Sun and blue skies today, plus cooler winds....(but no windsurfing allowed, aagggh!) Just kidding. I'll stop with the complaints now.

Blood drive on campus this week so I'll donate tomorrow and take time to rest after that. If I don't get enough rest, I'll probably get sick soon. Leading my church home group in lectio divina on Friday evening.

injured

My shoulder has been hurting for a couple of weeks and I finally went in to see the physiotherapist who told me not to do any exercise that requires vigorous movements or heavy lifting with my right arm for 1-2 weeks. I've never hurt my shoulder before and when she told me I shouldn't play badminton this weekend, my head had a hard time processing her words.

I think I sprained my shoulder from a combination of carrying heavy bags of groceries and books, trying to learn a blocking move in wing chun, and from falling so much (and therefore needing to pull the sail up) during my windsurfing course and exam. Two weeks isn't very long at all but it feels like a century. She did say that if my should seems better next week, I may be able to play again. I've never ever been told that I cannot play because of an injury and the pain's not fun to live with. In the meantime, I'm taking ibuprofen with my meals, icing my shoulder when I can, and stretching it gently when my arm starts to feel numb from working at the computer.

 I can't imagine how people who have chronic pain live their lives because I am grumpy enough as it is.

no way!!!

Now this op-ed has turned everything I ever thought about colds upside down and inside out.

good times II

(This post is about making a note of blessings when I actually do feel thankful for them.)

I'm very thankful for the mentors I have had. That I have met and known, and continue to know, so many wonderful people--mentors and peers--is the singular blessing of my life. I will always be amazed by the lives of those who have been generous with their stories. The problem with my life in HK so far is that the people I meet are relatively homogenous. This is not to say that my friends here don't have amazing life stories. They do. And I'm sometimes meeting Chinese who come from places other than HK. But I'm not meeting the people who are so radically different and who nonetheless still connect with me at some deep level. Does that make sense? I guess I'm taking for granted that I am already making friends here in HK. But something's missing, and I think it's that I'm not making deep connections across either race, class, gender, sexuality, or age, or whatever else that is usually the basis for deep friendships.

I'm onto something here but I'm not sure I've fully worked out the thought. (And this post is too me-centered, but oh well. Next time I'll blog about someone or something else!)

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Update: Maybe this just means I need to move out of my comfort zone here. Ugh, but I'm already so tired....

good times

I was looking through some of my old posts, and I saw this one. I wrote this as I was reflecting on the lessons I learned while I was in LA, and a part of me needs to remember some of these lessons now. In some ways, I think I am now a little further on than I was back then, but in other ways, I feel like I've not taken a step forward at all! Anyway, I just want to remind myself that these things happened, and I'm thinking about them now.

What lessons am I learning now? I'm not sure. I think I need to set aside time to really think that through.

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1. At the beginning of the fall last year, God said, "Trust Me."
2. I asked for healing from fear and I have been healed somewhat. Quite a bit actually, except that I'm constantly worrying over the current or upcoming challenge that I often forget how far I've come. I still have a fear of public speaking. :)
3. This past summer, I asked God to show me if I can write at a high level; if I can't, I need to look for a different job because academia is probably not for me. What I learned this past year was that I am dependent upon God for the daily progress I make in my work. For now, at least, I will remain in academia (mostly because I have a job for at least the next three years!).
4. I've come to see that God brought healing into my life even before I knew how to ask for it.
5. I need to live as if I will never go hungry again because God will never stop loving me.
6. A lesson on pedagogy that I learned from J. Y. during his visit: "First, tell them what they want to hear. Then, tell them what God wants them to hear." The challenge comes after comfort.
7. If I remain in Christ, I will give out of my fullness.
8. I've been introduced to the pleasure and awe that comes from seeing how God works in the lives of others, especially old friends. It is a privilege to walk with friends and to know them well enough to notice the changes in their character. I suspect that this will be one of the more valuable blessings of growing old and I hope that others will be blessed in this way too.
9. I want to have a spiritual mentor who is physically in the same place as I am. And I want to learn how to be a mentor myself. (The latter really scares me though.)
10. I want to trust that God is sovereign and that He is good.