dark clouds

I really hope my emotional state now is a result of having to write the dissertation so quickly. I'm still stuck on Ch 4. I wrote one sentence on Sat and decided not to look at it again. Took today off too. I'm hoping against hope that my brain will be able to work again tomorrow.

Saw "Prince Caspian" yesterday and really enjoyed it. The actor who played Prince Caspian was all brawn, not much brains though.

I had a long conversation with a friend a couple of days ago and I realized that in my mind, sound judgment and love are linked. In other words, if someone has bad judgment or is foolish, that means what or whom they love must also be wrong or unwise; therefore, their love cannot be trusted.

Premise 1: X made a foolish decision (or even many foolish decisions).
Premise 2: X loves me

Therefore, X is foolish to love me.

This is a false belief that I have to break away from because we are all at some point foolish or unwise and we make mistakes. I know from my own life that I've grown much intellectually, and yes, in wisdom, and that I have far more to learn. I need to show grace to myself and to people around me--we can only grow as fast as grace allows (Brother Lawrence, via Unc P).

We are all fallen and susceptible to making wrong decisions and if I do not break away from this false belief, then I will never trust anyone's love for me.

I'm really tired and really homesick.