Grandmother stories

Aunt: Need to call for uber to go shopping because I don't have a car here.

Grandma: Taiping no uber.

Aunt: How you know?

Grandma: I know lah.

Folks, my 86-year old grandma.

~~~

Last uncle: Who bought that beanbag?

Grandma: Your third brother. When it was in fashion, he didn't want to buy. When not in fashion then only he buy.

*micdrop

~~~

Me: I thought you were driving back tonight? So late already still not yet leave ah?

Last uncle: Relaxxxxxx...... what's the rush? Chinese New Year is about relaxing and taking your time. And spending time with Ah Mah. What lah you.

..... a few seconds later....

Grandma to last uncle: Why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to leave?? It's so late already.

Me and fifth uncle laughed so hard, last uncle's daughter asked for a translation.

~~~

Grandma: Do you want Milo?

Me: No, it's okay.

Grandma: There's no sugar.

She's so perceptive it's amazing. I don't know the hokkien translation for "lactose pills" which I forgot to pack so I didn't explain why I don't drink Milo. (But, yes, mainly because of the high sugar content.)