Yesterday, I had a chat with one of the elders at my church about calling, vocation, and career. He asked me a few simple questions that I found I couldn't answer.
But more importantly, that conversation crystallized something that I've been learning in recent months. I have recently been convicted that I know "about" God, but I don't know God.
It is very hard to detect the difference between the two. But once I noticed it, I can say that for most of the last 20 years (or even more!), I have thought about God a lot but I spent very little with God. I have to confess that I don't know God. I only know about God.
I am learning that thinking about God is very different from really sitting with God and letting God step into my life. Thinking about God is easy. Letting God step into my life is not.
I am impatient, and bringing my emotions to God is not easy because I want a fast answer. Instead, God tells me, "I just want to be with you first." Often, the answers come later. Sometimes, much much later. So I become impatient, and my mind takes control: "Okay, what is the solution?? How do I solve this??" and sometimes, I make my control "holy" by asking: "Okay, is this the holier way to do x, y, z? If it is not against the Bible it's okay!"
This doesn't mean that it is wrong to think. I'm saying that all my thinking and all my problem-solving....they are ways to take control of my own life. They are ways for me to avoid God.
But more importantly, that conversation crystallized something that I've been learning in recent months. I have recently been convicted that I know "about" God, but I don't know God.
It is very hard to detect the difference between the two. But once I noticed it, I can say that for most of the last 20 years (or even more!), I have thought about God a lot but I spent very little with God. I have to confess that I don't know God. I only know about God.
I am learning that thinking about God is very different from really sitting with God and letting God step into my life. Thinking about God is easy. Letting God step into my life is not.
I am impatient, and bringing my emotions to God is not easy because I want a fast answer. Instead, God tells me, "I just want to be with you first." Often, the answers come later. Sometimes, much much later. So I become impatient, and my mind takes control: "Okay, what is the solution?? How do I solve this??" and sometimes, I make my control "holy" by asking: "Okay, is this the holier way to do x, y, z? If it is not against the Bible it's okay!"
This doesn't mean that it is wrong to think. I'm saying that all my thinking and all my problem-solving....they are ways to take control of my own life. They are ways for me to avoid God.
The elder of my church modeled a different way. Yes, we can analyze and think, but we do it with God,
and we let God take control of the conclusion. Ultimately, the results are not
so important because if God is with us, there is nothing to fear.
What we need to focus on is partnering with God through prayer.
Germany will be an interesting time. I'll be working hard on the upcoming projects and traveling most weekends, but since I don't have much of a social network there, I'll have a lot of time to pray, seek God, and ask myself the simple questions the elder of my church asked me.
No comments:
Post a Comment