As my previous posts have indicated, I'm going through another season of uncertainty and anxiety. During this time, I've been emailing a small group of friends who pray for me as I go through this season. This group of friends are people I've known for awhile, and they also include my church home group leaders here in HK who haven't known me for as long. As the months have passed, some of my friends have written back to point out that I have survived all my other seasons of uncertainty and anxiety. They did so with humor and gentleness so I didn't feel condemned, and that was very helpful. Some weeks have been tougher than others, and during those times, the only prayer I can pray is, "Lord, please stop these feelings, please help me." Thankfully, I currently have a reprieve from feeling overwhelmed by waves of anxiety. Truly, peace, like faith, is a gift.
During this time, I think I've also learned a few lessons on how to deal with anxiety and worry. First, during the seasons of your life when you don't have much to worry about, read and learn about, and start practicing spiritual disciplines! When your workload is heavy and your mind can't seem to focus on everything but your worries, your heart and mind won't be motivated to develop these spiritual habits. But if you work on them when the walk is slow and pleasant, then it will be easier to recall these exercises and put them to practice. When you are filled with anxiety, it will take all your strength and discipline to do them.
Second, try not to think of the future. This is a tough one. My friends also point out that I'm a pessimist and that I expect the worst to happen. This is wrong because God promises us hope for the future. But, it doesn't make sense to me to expect that what I desire will come through! I can't help being a realistic person, and the picture does look grim. I can't lie to myself and think, yes, I'm going to get this! I haven't completely worked out the biblical basis for my position yet, but my goal is to be happy with whatever God gives me because He is a good God who does not play around with our lives.
The only way I can deal with the anxiety around my future is neither to be a pessimist, which ignores God's sovereignty and love, nor an optimist, which ignores the realities of the world, but to be someone who sees, tastes, and enjoys God's presence and his gift in the present. In this position, I keep my eyes both on God's sovereignty and love, but also on the realities of this world. The worst possible outcome might indeed materialize, but it does not help to dwell on it. If I focus on God's presence in my life now, and if I keep doing so as we go along, what materializes at the end of this ordeal will not matter. Should the worst happen, will I still praise God and call him good? I don't know, but I certainly hope so.
When I get ready for work in the morning, I usually play one of Earl Palmer's sermons as I brush my teeth. This morning's sermon on freedom in Christ was particularly good because I enjoyed his parable of the kite!
During this time, I think I've also learned a few lessons on how to deal with anxiety and worry. First, during the seasons of your life when you don't have much to worry about, read and learn about, and start practicing spiritual disciplines! When your workload is heavy and your mind can't seem to focus on everything but your worries, your heart and mind won't be motivated to develop these spiritual habits. But if you work on them when the walk is slow and pleasant, then it will be easier to recall these exercises and put them to practice. When you are filled with anxiety, it will take all your strength and discipline to do them.
Second, try not to think of the future. This is a tough one. My friends also point out that I'm a pessimist and that I expect the worst to happen. This is wrong because God promises us hope for the future. But, it doesn't make sense to me to expect that what I desire will come through! I can't help being a realistic person, and the picture does look grim. I can't lie to myself and think, yes, I'm going to get this! I haven't completely worked out the biblical basis for my position yet, but my goal is to be happy with whatever God gives me because He is a good God who does not play around with our lives.
The only way I can deal with the anxiety around my future is neither to be a pessimist, which ignores God's sovereignty and love, nor an optimist, which ignores the realities of the world, but to be someone who sees, tastes, and enjoys God's presence and his gift in the present. In this position, I keep my eyes both on God's sovereignty and love, but also on the realities of this world. The worst possible outcome might indeed materialize, but it does not help to dwell on it. If I focus on God's presence in my life now, and if I keep doing so as we go along, what materializes at the end of this ordeal will not matter. Should the worst happen, will I still praise God and call him good? I don't know, but I certainly hope so.
When I get ready for work in the morning, I usually play one of Earl Palmer's sermons as I brush my teeth. This morning's sermon on freedom in Christ was particularly good because I enjoyed his parable of the kite!
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