It's a little early to be reflecting on the end of the year, and I'm sure I'll do more of that later. But I just want to say that as tired and overwhelmed as I feel right now--and MORE to do before and after Christmas!!--I am so thankful for everything I've learned in the last few months. I am also very thankful for friends who have been there for me, and who have listened to me talk, talk, talk about things that matter and things that don't. The next time I'm down in the valley, do remind me that I have often found life to be so amazing. (Notice, I'm not saying that life is ever easy. Hah. I've long set aside that illusion.)
I'm so thankful for the conference Timothy organized for our school, and for inviting me to participate in it. I was very glad to be on the second panel of the first day of the conference. I wasn't among the first to start, but I would still finish early too! That said, the first panel was full of white philosophers talking about white philosophers and I was on a panel of white speakers speaking mostly about visual art. And there I was talking about why race still mattered. Talk about hostile and alienating. I thought I wouldn't get a single question from the audience.
But God bless the other speakers in the audience who do know what it means to be gendered and racialized, especially Nicole, a more senior academic. There was so much generosity in the room, and even the philosophers (all white) made it a point to compliment me and to engage me in conversation. Interdisciplinary work is hard.
So, many many blessings in so many areas of my life.
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm extremely tired now and I still have so much to do. Poor Timothy who has been juggling so many balls, and has been so kind and generous, must be burned out. Luckily, he has a lot of vacation time coming up soon, and he deserve it. I have some time off, but not a whole lot, which is fine. I know what I want for Christmas, and it is not vacation time......
I still feel anxious about work, and I have to keep reminding myself to trust God, trust His provision, and trust in His timing. Without God, I cannot.
I'm so thankful for the conference Timothy organized for our school, and for inviting me to participate in it. I was very glad to be on the second panel of the first day of the conference. I wasn't among the first to start, but I would still finish early too! That said, the first panel was full of white philosophers talking about white philosophers and I was on a panel of white speakers speaking mostly about visual art. And there I was talking about why race still mattered. Talk about hostile and alienating. I thought I wouldn't get a single question from the audience.
But God bless the other speakers in the audience who do know what it means to be gendered and racialized, especially Nicole, a more senior academic. There was so much generosity in the room, and even the philosophers (all white) made it a point to compliment me and to engage me in conversation. Interdisciplinary work is hard.
So, many many blessings in so many areas of my life.
But it doesn't change the fact that I'm extremely tired now and I still have so much to do. Poor Timothy who has been juggling so many balls, and has been so kind and generous, must be burned out. Luckily, he has a lot of vacation time coming up soon, and he deserve it. I have some time off, but not a whole lot, which is fine. I know what I want for Christmas, and it is not vacation time......
I still feel anxious about work, and I have to keep reminding myself to trust God, trust His provision, and trust in His timing. Without God, I cannot.
No comments:
Post a Comment