Every day seems to be a battle with stress. This is REALLY hard. Feeling constantly out of depth and confused is hard.
I need to keep in mind that this anxiety is built into the system on every level. But more than that, I need to be a Caleb too. Feisty, brave, faithful Caleb.
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Update
And God responds by showing up in a big way. So glad to have time to chat with Sarah Will. in the evening. She totally understands what it means to do this work, and walks closely with God. Walking with God doesn't mean she doesn't struggle. She was very open about her fears, desires, and anger (she and Paul are going through a time of transition), but her love for God is still front and center of all of these.
When I first heard her speak last week, and at the beginning of our chat yesterday, I thought, "Oh dear, she's talking shop and I was hoping to be ministered to....." But both things happened. Both things can happen at the same time! It was also profound that I found it profound that God is interested in my intellect and wants even more than I do to see my intellect grow and flourish. To hear it from a Christian academic who loves God passionately means more than anything anyone else can say because she knows what the temptations and challenges are.
Their spiritual practices inform their work. For example, Sarah didn't just start a seminar series on religion in public life, she did that as an act of hospitality, to open up a space for conversation to take place. And in sessions in previous years, Regent faculty had talked about how important the human being is to God, and that part of our work is to see our students and colleagues the way God sees them, and to help them become fully human. That's an undivided life.
Sarah has two ways of reacting to situations:
1) Oh, this is wonderful, this is an encounter with God!
2) Oh, this is a challenge. It's an opportunity to be missional!
Again, this isn't because she wasn't real or open about her struggles. She struggles. But when her intellectual faculties kick in, they go into gear so that her mind returns God to the center, and He guides her responses. How amazing is that.
Later in the conversation, she asked me, "What is the Holy Spirit to you?" I thought she was joking but she waited in silence until I answered. And God showed up. He just did.
The point wasn't my answer. The point was God showing up.
He is amazing, and he is enough. He is enough!
I need to keep in mind that this anxiety is built into the system on every level. But more than that, I need to be a Caleb too. Feisty, brave, faithful Caleb.
----
Update
And God responds by showing up in a big way. So glad to have time to chat with Sarah Will. in the evening. She totally understands what it means to do this work, and walks closely with God. Walking with God doesn't mean she doesn't struggle. She was very open about her fears, desires, and anger (she and Paul are going through a time of transition), but her love for God is still front and center of all of these.
When I first heard her speak last week, and at the beginning of our chat yesterday, I thought, "Oh dear, she's talking shop and I was hoping to be ministered to....." But both things happened. Both things can happen at the same time! It was also profound that I found it profound that God is interested in my intellect and wants even more than I do to see my intellect grow and flourish. To hear it from a Christian academic who loves God passionately means more than anything anyone else can say because she knows what the temptations and challenges are.
Their spiritual practices inform their work. For example, Sarah didn't just start a seminar series on religion in public life, she did that as an act of hospitality, to open up a space for conversation to take place. And in sessions in previous years, Regent faculty had talked about how important the human being is to God, and that part of our work is to see our students and colleagues the way God sees them, and to help them become fully human. That's an undivided life.
Sarah has two ways of reacting to situations:
1) Oh, this is wonderful, this is an encounter with God!
2) Oh, this is a challenge. It's an opportunity to be missional!
Again, this isn't because she wasn't real or open about her struggles. She struggles. But when her intellectual faculties kick in, they go into gear so that her mind returns God to the center, and He guides her responses. How amazing is that.
Later in the conversation, she asked me, "What is the Holy Spirit to you?" I thought she was joking but she waited in silence until I answered. And God showed up. He just did.
The point wasn't my answer. The point was God showing up.
He is amazing, and he is enough. He is enough!
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