What happened?

I honestly cannot say what happened in the past week. I feel like so much has happened....and yet I can't remember what did.

My mentor, D, noted this afternoon that I look cool, calm and collected. Well, I'm glad I do but I'm also not sure that there's a better option, really.

something needs rethinking

I went on vacation and still feel tired. This qualifies as a WTF moment.

time travel

I was home for nine days and it felt like two months. That's not necessarily bad, but I feel like I was in a whole other world and now I have to get back to work.

It's okay, I just have to work like crazy for a month then I can take another short break.

strategies

I spent 20 minutes talking to Crazy Colleague about essentially nothing of import because for some reason, he needed to talk about a possibility that was never a possibility in the first place. I told Colleague S about it, and she said: "Why did you spend twenty minutes talking to him?? He's crazy, and talking to him for 20 minutes isn't going to change that. Just talk to him for five minutes."

Oh. Yeah. Duh.

I'm SO dumb.

On a more positive note, Timothy is really a great person and a wonderful boss. #thankful

Not serving

This past year, I took a break from serving at church because it was a tough year at work. I was glad I didn't have to serve because it turned out to be a really tough year at work.

But I realized that I also became very self-centered in my allocation of time. I did try to make time for friends. Still, I think it is important to start serving again.

I have not figured out how and in what ways though. It's going to be another hard year at work.

June

The school year has come to an end, and while I spend the first couple of weeks of June with a headache and feeling half-dead, at least I'm starting to feel more human now. Coming into the office doesn't feel like hell anymore, mostly because I spend most of my time reading this month.

And... I get to play a little more baddy. Long live summer!!

end of semester blues

Learning to let negative feelings run their course, and hoping that I don't bite, scratch, or bark at the people around me in the meantime. Grades have been turned in, and while I have more administrative work to do, the worst of it is over. And it's strange how our mind/body/emotions crumble when it knows it can do so with relatively few consequences.

I really wish I could go on vacation, but flying takes a pretty heavy toll on my body and it takes me awhile to get back on track. So. Here's hoping that I'll get a lot of writing done this summer. Because I don't think I actually have a choice about that.

Wishing I were in Maine though.

enough....

I love seeing old friends, and I like taking visitors around, but I've had too many of them in the last 12 months. No more for 2014, please.

I need to move to a deserted island, I really do.

more time on my hands

I feel more relaxed and have more time to do my own thing when my close, single girl friends begin a relationship because they no longer have to talk about their day with me. I'm happy to talk with them, of course, but sometimes, I really don't need to hear about what happened at the office, or what movies they want to watch or like to watch. I'd never tell them that, of course. But I'm very happy for them!!!!!!!!

I hope this doesn't make me a terrible person.....

please....

I wish I could survive on less sleep so that I can do everything I want to do: work hard at my job, pray, read, spend time with friends and family, volunteer, play badminton, and go to the gym. All these things are important to me....

It seems like the one thing that I've had to learn to do consistently over the past 20 years is to learn to weigh what people teach me. I need to remain teachable, but not what everyone tells me is true--even if they're convinced they are--or right. Sometimes, it may not be right for me at that time.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. Lord, have mercy.

remnants of Typhoon Haiyan

The devastation in the Philippines sounds surreal. How can a storm do so much damage? We're getting the last bits of Typhoon Haiyan today and tomorrow, but that means only Force 4-5 winds and some rain. I'm really thankful that HK does not have a history of landslides or whatnot because HK island at least is all hill!

Can't wait for the semester to end. I have a lot of wonderful students this semester, but I am pretty tired of teaching.

Hurry Sickness

I'm really enjoying the kindle app on my Galaxy Tab! It works way better than the ebook app. Kindle versions of books are now only a little cheaper than the print versions but since shipping to HK is about the same price of the book, I now buy some of my books via Kindle....so long as I don't need them for work because Amazon still hasn't put page numbers on their ebooks!!! Hello, we need to CITE!!!

I've finished Gilbert Bilezikian's "Beyond Sex Roles" and the anthology "How I Changed My Mind About Women in Leadership," and am now reading John Ortberg's "The Life You've Always Wanted." I loved Bilezikian's book for its organization and thoroughness and I found the anthology really helpful because it showed how there is a whole spectrum of positions and responses among those who call themselves egalitarian. Someone like Tony Campolo argues in no uncertain terms that gender inequality within the church is tantamount to sin, while others take a more conciliatory approach as they play pastoral roles in their congregations. Many of the male evangelical leaders also detail their long resistance to changing their minds about the position of women in the church too, and it was just wonderful to hear all of that.

Ortberg's book is a "spiritual disciplines for dummies"-type book, and I appreciate his approach. I have Richard Foster's book but I had to put it down after a couple of chapters because I felt too guilty after failing at meditation. We'll see how far I actually get with Ortberg's book, but so far I like how he quotes other spiritual giants such as Brother Lawrence on how we will always be beginners at prayer.....even Brother Lawrence never felt that he ever "mastered" prayer! This Saturday, I will be joining other folks from the women's ministry in my church on a day-long silent retreat before playing badminton in the evening. I'll bring along a list of exercises I can try!

This week, I'd like to pay attention to "Hurry Sickness." I fit the bill for all the symptoms, and I love that the cures to hurry sickness are pretty funny. One strategy is to choose the longest line in the grocery store, or if you're driving, then choose the slowest lane. I'm totally the kind of person who keeps track of the other line that I could've chosen to see if I've made the right choice, and when the other line moves faster than the line I ended up picking, I feel frustrated. But why? What does saving a couple of minutes add to my day??

More importantly, the choice to live in an unhurried manner recognizes and proclaims our dependence on God. As an act of faith, it declares that the Author of Time has given us enough time to do what He has called us to do. As an act of faith, it reminds us to love and depend on Him, and to love others. In my hurry, I often end up snapping at strangers here in crowded, bustling HK, and worse yet, I snap at family and friends, but to what purpose? My life is not happier nor am I more productive because I get someplace five minutes earlier. I'm going to consciously practice unhurriedness now. My relationships will probably improve, and I'm going to keep my fingers crossed that my work will be all the better for it too!