:(

Haven't really been blogging much because I've been feeling really fatigued and also out of sorts. I will teach my last class this Friday and my students turn in their finals next week. My postdoc group had our last seminar yesterday and we're meeting for lunch with one of the deans today. I usually have trouble sleeping after a seminar dinner because it's too stimulating and we usually end around 10pm. As much as I've enjoyed their company and as much as I will miss them, I will happily hunker down and become a hermit for awhile . . . without guilt or condemnation.

It's been an amazing year where I've learned a lot and I've also learned to do a lot of difficult things; difficult for me, that is. After this final push, I need a break so that I can reflect on the past year. I can't take a long break though because I need to write two chapters this summer!!!

LCW and Taufik!

video that is more fun than the last one

travel tips from Nicholas Kristof

In response, here are 15 tips for traveling to even the roughest of countries — and back:

1. Carry a “decoy wallet,” so that if you are robbed by bandits with large guns, you have something to hand over. I keep $40 in my decoy wallet, along with an old library card and frequent-flier card. (But don’t begrudge the wallet: when my travel buddy was pickpocketed in Peru, we tried to jump the pickpocket, who turned out to be backed by an entire gang ... )

2. Carry cash and your passport where no robber will find it. Assuming that few bandits read this column, I’ll disclose that I carry mine in a pouch that loops onto my belt and tucks under my trousers.

3. Carry a tiny ski lock with a six-foot retractable wire. Use it to lock your backpack to a hotel bed when you’re out, or to the rack of a train car.

4. At night, set a chair against your hotel door so that it will tip over and crash if someone slips in at 4 a.m. And lift the sheet to look for bloodstains on the mattress — meaning bed bugs.

5. When it gets dark, always carry a headlamp in your pocket. I learned that from a friend whose hotel in Damascus lost power. He lacked a light but was able to feel his way up the stairs in the dark, find his room and walk in. A couple of final gropes, and he discovered it wasn’t his room after all. Unfortunately, it was occupied.

6. If you’re a woman held up in an isolated area, stick out your stomach, pat it and signal that you’re pregnant. You might also invest in a cheap wedding band, for imaginary husbands deflect unwanted suitors.

7. Be wary of accepting drinks from anyone. Robbers sometimes use a date rape drug to knock out their victims — in bars, in trains, in homes. If presented with pre-poured drinks, switch them with your host, cheerfully explaining: “This is an American good luck ritual!”

8. Buy a secondhand local cell phone for $20, outfit it with a local SIM card and keep it in your pocket.

9. When you arrive in a new city, don’t take an airport taxi unless you know it is safe. If you do take a cab, choose a scrawny driver and lock ALL the doors — thieves may pull open the doors at a red light and run off with a bag.

10. Don’t wear a nice watch, for that suggests a fat wallet and also makes a target. I learned that lesson on my first trip to the Philippines: a robber with a machete had just encountered a Japanese businessman with a Rolex — who now, alas, has only one hand.

11. Look out for fake cops or crooked ones. If a policeman tries to arrest you, demand to see some ID and use your cell phone to contact a friend.

12. If you are held up by bandits with large guns, shake hands respectfully with each of your persecutors. It’s very important to be polite to people who might kill you. Surprisingly often, child soldiers and other bandits will reciprocate your fake friendliness and settle for some cash rather than everything you possess. I’ve even had thugs warmly exchange addresses with me, after robbing me.

13. Remember that the scariest people aren’t warlords, but drivers. In buses I sometimes use my pack as an airbag; after one crash I was the only passenger not hospitalized.

14. If terrorists finger you, break out singing “O Canada”!

15. Finally, don’t be so cautious that you miss the magic of escaping your comfort zone and mingling with local people and staying in their homes. The risks are minimal compared with the wonders of spending time in a small village. So take a gap year, or volunteer in a village or a slum. And even if everything goes wrong and you are robbed and catch malaria, shrug it off — those are precisely the kinds of authentic interactions with local cultures that, in retrospect, enrich a journey and life itself.

Again . . .

annual group photo

more mellonnesses

The slideshow below was taken yesterday after our penultimate seminar. We have a visiting prof this Wed, and then one more Mellon seminar before we disband this year's group. Very sad.

Last night, toward the end of the dinner, F turned to me and said as a joke, "Are you sure you're supposed to be laughing this much?? Aren't Christians supposed to be more sober??"

I must confess, I didn't know how to respond!

StumbleUpon

clip taken at church home group--D was playing with the camera

driving through part of Koreatown with SMS and F (yes, the F with whom I was passing notes)

Our prog is funded by the "Mellon Foundation" and we thought we had a "melon cake" to celebrate . . .

a short clip my friend took with my video camera

What F and I looked like during the last talk of the conference

What I looked like when F and I passed notes during the conference

happiness III

Happiness would be gathering everyone I care about in one place and never having to say goodbye again.

my french fries addiction

So this is why I love french fries and potato chips! Hmm, the only way I avoid inhaling potato chips on a nightly basis is to walk right by the chips aisle in the grocery store. It's a method that works as long as I keep walking but maybe I can change my perceptions of that disgusting piece of over-fried, over-salted, over-processed sliver of potato . . .

ps - I blog more often when I'm not on Facebook . . . . but I'll be back on Facebook by Sat night, muahahahahaha . . . .

fun movie

Caught this with some friends last night and really enjoyed it!

Why is writing so difficult? Why?? WHY????

I realize that I fantasize about leaving the field every time I have to write under the gun. That means I fantasize about a career change very often.

aarrgh

I'm presenting another paper at our research groups annual conference in a week and I haven't started writing the paper. Can't seem to get anything done so I'm going home. To sleep or watch TV or anything but sit in front of my computer with nothing to do. Writing blocks SUCK!!!!!

Column about rape

This is truly unbelievable. Really.

crap

Going through Facebook withdrawal symptoms. I've been off Facebook since Friday morning so it has been about five days now. Instead of compulsively clicking "refresh" on Facebook, I am now compulsively clicking refresh on two of my email accounts. Not supposed to go back to Facebook until May 9.

R-e-a-l-l-y t-o-u-g-h . . . .

excerpt from A Slice of Infinity, Ravi Zacharias Ministries

The following excerpt was really helpful this morning. I think it's very clear
from my posts that I am in general incredibly happy to be here. But very
recently, I've been struggling with more negative emotions and the old
questions "What in the world am I doing with my life?" and "Where
am I going?" and "What do I want, really?" have resurfaced again.

I think I know why I'm been struggling with these questions now and this
excerpt, I hope, will help me recenter my focus. When I displace God
with something or even someone, regardless of how good that thing or
person is, I lose sight of God's work in, and His plans for, my life.

-------

The hiddenness of God is problematic for theists and atheists alike. 
Christians often take for granted that we have the scriptures which give us
a record of God’s revelation. We have the benefit of a book full of God’s
speech. God speaks in the wonder and mystery of creation; God speaks
through the history of the nation of Israel; God speaks through the very
Word of God incarnate, Jesus Christ. His life reveals the exact nature of
God, and places God’s glory on full display.
 
But still we may wonder if we must always and only look to the past
to hear God’s voice, while we wonder why God isn’t more “talkative” today?
Has God not given us an additional witness for God’s presence and activity
in the world today?
 
In fact, God is often found in one of the last places we think of--the church. 
For at its best, the church retells the story of God speaking across the ages 
and definitively in Jesus Christ through the preaching of the gospel. But the 
church can also create community where God may be encountered in the
faces of others as a result of the empowering Holy Spirit. Such a community
is to be the symbol of God’s presence among us and with us as “God-found,”
not “God-hidden.” It is to be the arms of God around us when we are hurting,
or the voice of God speaking when we feel we haven’t heard from God in years.
Such a community is to be God’s voice, God’s hands and feet as they go out
into the broken places of the world to bring healing, help, and comfort.
Through worship and liturgy, prayer and communion, service and sacrifice
the church is to reveal the God who spoke and is still speaking.
 
God is not often revealed in the roar of the hurricane or the loud-clap of
thunder, but in a “still, small voice”--a voice that is barely audible except to
the most patient and still. But when the Church, broken and human as it is,
seeks through the power of the Spirit to accomplish “greater things than these,”
we see God and hear God, and find God beautifully obvious.
 
For those who long to see God, who long to find God in the darkest hour,
we may not find God in the dramatic or the victorious, the miraculous or the
stupendous. Instead, we may yet hope to find him in the pew, at the table
of the Lord’s Supper, or in a simple hymn sung by fellow seekers longing
to find Him too.

new toy

I got a compact HD camcorder through my credit card reward program but then realized that my computer can't keep up with HD videos . . . sigh. Also, the still photos that you pull from a video looks like . . . it came from a video. :p

Still, the Creative Vado HD is really small, light, and fun to use! My alumni group volunteered at a women's shelter last weekend and here's a small video of a few of us sitting down to lunch.

another epiphany

Can't seem to focus on an appropriate update for the present moment so I will just mention one of my new resolutions: practice random acts of hospitality.

During my trip to the UK, I had to be in Belfast for a couple of days and as it turned out, my sister's pastor's wife's family lives in Belfast, so my sister made arrangements for me to stay with her pastor's wife's brother and his family. When I got to Belfast, however, I found out that my sister's pastor's wife's brother's wife was just starting work again after a year's maternity leave, so it was difficult for them to host me and told me that my sister's pastor's wife's father, who is also my sister's pastor's wife's brother's father, will be hosting me instead. I was a little apprehensive by that point and imagine how I felt when my sister's pastor's wife's brother drove me to my sister's pastor's wife's father's house and my sister's pastor's wife's father said, "There's too much construction going on at our house so we're heading over here."

Finally, I ended up staying at my sister's pastor's wife's father's tenants' apartment instead. David (my sister's pastor's wife's father) is an architect and he was building an additional floor to his old farmhouse and had remodeled the barn where he milked cows as a kid into a lovely little two-story place. The tenants, Ed and Kate and their little baby Elijah, had an empty guest room and they hosted me for the two nights I was there. None of the people who fed me and who drove me around the city had ever met my sister before and I have never met my sister's pastor or his wife! We were utter and complete strangers.

My three weeks of travel were wonderful in many, many ways, but this short part of my trip affected me profoundly. I spent many hours talking to these folks over meals and tea and thoroughly enjoyed myself. It was truly an unexpected holiday.

Sound of Music Train Station @ Yahoo! Video

back!

Got home at about 4pm yesterday. Very glad to be back but unfortunately, I was at my aunt's place outside of London long enough for me to feel comfortable there. When I got there, all I wanted to do was leave because without my regular routine, I couldn't seem to get anything done, and I was--and still am--sad that I had to miss out on a couple of events that were going on back in LA. All I did was eat, sleep, and sit around with family.

By the end of my stay, I was both excited about getting back and sad to be leaving. Getting to know my cousin's kids R_an, Br_nden and Chr_stian was such a precious gift. I also had a lot of fun meeting up with old friends and making new friends. More stories about that later. Regardless of where I am, I'm always missing people in other places. Yes, I have such a miserable life, I really do.

I don't quite understand it myself but leaving CA and leaving the country for a bit really helped give me some perspective. First, I realized that there are other wonderful ways of life other than the one I have been living for the past ten or eleven years. But then again, I also realized that I have had the most amazing life so far. Truly. Now, I'm starting to get a little excited about moving back to Asia at the beginning of 2010!!!

(Of course, I already know that I'll be sad about leaving especially because I am so happy here . . . . but I suppose growing up means learning to live with conflicting emotions.)

failed

The teleconferencing program sucked. Too much echo, couldn't figure out who was speaking, and just plain difficult to use. Scheduled a replacement class next weekend. Well, at least I tried.

Really happy to be here with family though, and I've especially loved getting to know my cousin's kids. Aren't they so cute????

on the run

Actually, I've been resting in my aunt's house outside of London for the past couple of days now, and I'm really enjoying this less stressful week. I do have to teach via teleconferencing in a couple of days but otherwise, life is pretty easy.

It's been a fantastic trip except for my few days in Boston when I was horribly sick with a cold and had to miss my own presentation at the conference. Everything has gone well since then and I've had a wonderful time visiting with family and friends. But I can't wait to get back to my own life and my own apt. Will be flying back on April 14. May write more then.