One swim this year

 

Go figure

Sometimes I think my friends know me better than I know myself:

Good listener

Does not thrive in conflict

Logical

Cautious (technically, I think it's more fearful, but okay)

.... That's what I have gathered so far.

 

Simple pleasures

 Clean sheets.

 

Covid walking gear

 

Covid, still

 

I'm thankful we can still take walks outside but the isolation is really getting to me.

🌞

 

Gift

Some of my care group leaders bought dinner and dessert and had them delivered to our apartments. We're still meeting on zoom. One of the husbands work for a pizza company and they wanted to place orders with that company to cheer him up. I offered to order myself but they said no. I feel bad because they had to put in a minimum order even though I'm only one person. A lot of leftovers now.... It's not easy to accept a kindness though. I need to pass it on.

 

Day before a monsoon storm arrives

EH group shot

Transnational entomology

Experiential learning and fieldwork.

dock

Bamboo used for construction stored at the dock.

Selfie for EH

This is my jokey one. But I am wearing my favorite mask.

💗

One more class, and Elijah House 201 will come to an end. Because of a resurgence in the virus, we will have our final class on zoom. Almost everyone voted to delay the graduation lunch to the fall when hopefully we will be able to gather together in person. It's been such a precious time, I'm glad we'll be able to see one another face to face again. 

The entire course is centered on connecting our hearts to the Father's heart. 

This is difficult to do because of the many things in our lives that have led us to protect our hearts using our own methods and by our own strength, none of which honor God or involve God. 

I'm starting to see--feel!--how my heart literally scrunches up in on itself when I feel hurt or scared. It has been so normal to me that I never noticed it before. A key teaching of the course is that we need to trust God to protect our hearts. 

Psalm 115:11 You who fear him, trust in the LORD— he is their help and shield.

John 14:27 Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you. I do not give to you as the world gives. Do not let your hearts be troubled and do not be afraid.

Though an army besiege me,
my heart will not fear;
though war break out against me,
even then I will be confident.

Psalm 27:3 

This sounds easy and anyone who has been Christian for even a short time will be familiar with these promises. But within the first week of class, I realized how difficult it was, and can still be, for me to trust that God will be the one who protects my heart and that I don't have to be the one who does it.

Last night, my accountability group and I had the opportunity to pray for one of our members, and it was clear to me that she wasn't ready to let God protect her heart in a particular situation. When I saw her resolve to draw up walls around, I thought, "Oh, is that what it looks like? Is that what I look like when I don't give up my fears and wounds to Father God?"

Having experienced healing in some areas, I realized that it is so much better to let Father come into each room of my heart. But I also understand why the sister couldn't go there (yet). It can seem too frightening. 

EH calls this a sign of "unripe fruit," that is, an area that the person is not ready to relinquish. As prayer supporters, we don't go there because it isn't time yet and only the Holy Spirit knows when that time will be.

It's been interesting for me to note that there are areas in my life that I haven't relinquished either. In my head, it makes so much sense to say, "Yes, Lord, please do whatever You want with xyz in my life." But my heart tightens its death grip on those very areas. But at least now I can say this with honesty. I'm not sure why I can't let go and trust Father. Those are revelations that are for Father to reveal in good time. 

To trust God with our hearts ... in a way, that is also a way to put our hearts on the altar as Abraham did with Isaac. Isaac, the son of God's promise and Abraham's heart of hearts .... Abraham had to trust God with his dreams, his loves, his hopes, and everything that mattered in his life. Abraham had to say, "Okay, You've got this. I trust You. No matter what You decide, I'll be okay with it. I could be crushed by this, and I could hurt so much that I can't stand up again. But I'm going to trust that even if that happens, You are right and good."

From a Nigerian brother

"It's difficult to see through tears," -- African proverb, Mike O.

But you have to keep doing it anyway. That, and to keep resting through all the doubts and storms.

Well, God made me laugh today.

For a lifetime

To honor is to give weight, or to value.

It doesn't mean we ignore the sin or hurt. We bring those to the cross and ask Father to deal with it. 

But the other side of the cross is resurrection life and that is the new life we are called to. We bless even our enemies. What God created them to be is somewhere there under everything that is horrible. We can pray resurrection prayers over them.

These are prayers not for our sake, but theirs. "Lord, help them be who You made them to be." 

Lesson 1 from Elijah house

"When God sees us, He doesn't see what's right or wrong, but what's missing in us."

It's not like any of us is missing a limb or anything. But their stance is that when we see struggle or "bad fruit" in our lives, it means that there's a part of our hearts that hasn't grown into what it needs to be.

Communion in a time of covid

• 

God's creativity

Me to an extroverted friend at church: I'm going home to nap.

Extroverted friend: And then?

Me: There is no "and then".... 

Friend: Oh, it's "take a nap full stop" .....

Still in the process

Shared by Rach

Rainbow

Typhoon's path changed, but still some rain

Pastor Kevin's sermon on Gideon

Deuteronomy 28:1-14

This shows us God's intent for us:

“And if you faithfully obey the voice of the Lord your God, being careful to do all his commandments that I command you today, the Lord your God will set you high above all the nations of the earth. 2 And all these blessings shall come upon you and overtake you, if you obey the voice of the Lord your God. 3 Blessed shall you be in the city, and blessed shall you be in the field. 4 Blessed shall be the fruit of your womb and the fruit of your ground and the fruit of your cattle, the increase of your herds and the young of your flock. 5 Blessed shall be your basket and your kneading bowl. 6 Blessed shall you be when you come in, and blessed shall you be when you go out.

7 “The Lord will cause your enemies who rise against you to be defeated before you. They shall come out against you one way and flee before you seven ways. 8 The Lord will command the blessing on you in your barns and in all that you undertake. And he will bless you in the land that the Lord your God is giving you. 9 The Lord will establish you as a people holy to himself, as he has sworn to you, if you keep the commandments of the Lord your God and walk in his ways. 10 And all the peoples of the earth shall see that you are called by the name of the Lord, and they shall be afraid of you. 11 And the Lord will make you abound in prosperity, in the fruit of your womb and in the fruit of your livestock and in the fruit of your ground, within the land that the Lord swore to your fathers to give you. 12 The Lord will open to you his good treasury, the heavens, to give the rain to your land in its season and to bless all the work of your hands. And you shall lend to many nations, but you shall not borrow. 13 And the Lord will make you the head and not the tail, and you shall only go up and not down, if you obey the commandments of the Lord your God, which I command you today, being careful to do them, 14 and if you do not turn aside from any of the words that I command you today, to the right hand or to the left, to go after other gods to serve them.

God knew

I was complaining to God and I said, "It's all your problem. Since You said You would solve everything, then You solve it! I can't. You do it all."

And He prompted Y to send me this.

hmm, so far so good

50 pages in so far. Get it. 

Reflection questions (Nehemiah)

How were you taught as a child to deal with failure? What is your emotional reaction when you fail in relationships, the workplace, or your personal values?

If we claim to be without sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us (1 John 1:8). What makes it hard to admit our own personal sin?

Recall for yourself (or share in your group) ways in which you have seen God's faithfulness to you.

As you rebuild your "new normal," what commitments ("binding agreements") are you wanting to make of your life?