start of the semester

.... and I already feel like I need a vacation.

reminders

How can we embrace poverty as a way to God when everyone around us wants to become rich? Poverty has many forms. We have to ask ourselves: "What is my poverty?" Is it lack of money, lack of emotional stability, lack of a loving partner, lack of security, lack of safety, lack of self-confidence? Each human being has a place of poverty. 

That's the place where God wants to dwell! "How blessed are the poor," Jesus says (Matthew 5:3). This means that our blessing is hidden in our poverty.

We are so inclined to cover up our poverty and ignore it that we often miss the opportunity to discover God, who dwells in it. Let's dare to see our poverty as the land where our treasure is hidden.

-- Henri Nouwen

goosebumps

How is God's word so amazing?

Ephesians 6:10-18

10-12 And that about wraps it up. God is strong, and he wants you strong. So take everything the Master has set out for you, well-made weapons of the best materials. And put them to use so you will be able to stand up to everything the Devil throws your way. This is no afternoon athletic contest that we’ll walk away from and forget about in a couple of hours. This is for keeps, a life-or-death fight to the finish against the Devil and all his angels.

13-18 Be prepared. You’re up against far more than you can handle on your own. Take all the help you can get, every weapon God has issued, so that when it’s all over but the shouting you’ll still be on your feet. Truth, righteousness, peace, faith, and salvation are more than words. Learn how to apply them. You’ll need them throughout your life. God’s Word is an indispensable weapon. In the same way, prayer is essential in this ongoing warfare. Pray hard and long. Pray for your brothers and sisters. Keep your eyes open. Keep each other’s spirits up so that no one falls behind or drops out.

know thyself

There are times when I have so much going on in my life and head that I have to stay away from people because I'm too tired to hold my tongue. Basically, I have to stay away from situations and people whose actions or words might tempt me to say things like, "Can you please use your brains for five seconds?"

See, I know my weakness.

If I can't hold my tongue, I need to say no to non-work related situations and shut myself in until I get enough rest and peace in my soul. Until then, I am only allowed to spend time with friends who are dear to me. And yes, people who think before they speak.

Rewiring

My prayer director: "You know, you might be so used to fear and anxiety you literally need to re-learn what is relax and rest."

So. True. 

Resting in God's promises is different from "crashing."

wholeness

I know, this seems so unlike my usual intellectual self. But I don't think the intellect and the spirit are opposed. There is a great deal in psychology and sociology that mirrors spiritual truths, and God made the body, mind, and spirit to work in unity.

I am so, so impatient. I want to run like Usain Bolt, but the wounds on my feet aren't fully healed yet.


More about nightmares:

"As followers of Jesus Christ, we have complete spiritual authority to demolish the works of the enemy against us when we pray in the name of our Saviour. So it is the same with demonic nightmares. But first, we must repent for clinging on to any offensive acts or objects that give Satan a foothold to torment us.

1 John 3:8 ESV  ... The reason the Son of God appeared was to destroy the works of the devil.

Luke 6:18 ESV  ... And those who were troubled with unclean spirits were cured."

nightmares

Last night, I had a dream where demons were present and attacking me and people around me. The funny thing about this dream is that I wasn’t scared and in a way I “made” the dream come back a second time so that I could do a better job of battling the demons and convincing the people around me that we were battling demons not human beings, and that we need to be prepared. I don’t want to make light of demons, and the dreams weren’t a walk in the park. I wasn't fearful, but I was pretty tired and when my alarm rang, I felt exhausted even if I went to bed at a good time. I still find it funny that I dreamed about making the dream come back a second time so that I could improve.

As someone who has been plagued by nightmares for a lot of her adult life, it's remarkable to note how my dreams are no longer filled with fear even when there are demons and spirits in them. Still, I hope I have fewer of these kinds of dreams! 

Land training

Great workouts, great company, great location, great views. So glad I opted-in.

Zechariah 8:13-16

 13 Just as you, Judah and Israel, have been a curse[a] among the nations, so I will save you, and you will be a blessing.[b] Do not be afraid, but let your hands be strong.”

14 This is what the Lord Almighty says: “Just as I had determined to bring disaster on you and showed no pity when your ancestors angered me,” says the Lord Almighty, 15 “so now I have determined to do good again to Jerusalem and Judah. Do not be afraid.

Zechariah 9:12

Return to your fortress, you prisoners of hope;
    even now I announce that I will restore twice as much to you.

Claiming the promises of God.

Wonder of wonders

I slept so much in the last couple of weeks after finishing the second draft of The Big Project that I may have actually filled up my sleep tank.

Now I'm a little behind on three Small Projects, but I'm finally getting started today. And wow, my writing is terrible. Seriously. When will I ever get my work to "decent"??

Thankful for degrees of "done-ness," but still.... this is a long, never-ending apprenticeship.

Rainy summers

I think I prefer a typhoon or two instead of daily drizzles for weeks on end.

Zechariah 1-2

Isn't ironic that prophets are confronted by images and visions that they don't understand? Prophecy is a gift that requires its receiver to stand on the grace of God. No human mind can understand God; God explains himself and no one can speak for God. His sovereignty is always whole.

Don't challenge god

June 30, God spoke to me in a dream.

He's got a sense of humor.

how the body works

I met The Big Deadline last Friday, and this week, I can barely focus on any kind of reading much less writing. Took yesterday off to rest and read a bit, and ended up sleeping for most of the day.

Still tired, for sure. Half day in the office today because I'm barely focusing again. I hope this changes soon because between now and December, I have to complete three Little Projects. And if all goes well, my Big Deadline might come back but in a much less stressful form.

Nota bene

This week, God reminds me that the gifts he gives me are meant to bless others too. I can't be a hoarder.

strange new thoughts

Between now and Friday, I have no responsibilities except to write.

On the one hand, it's stressful. But on the other hand, it's a privilege too.

In a way, I'm glad I'm on a break from baddy because I think if someone says one more time, "Oh, you have nothing to do because it's summer," I really might punch them in the nose.

I don't understand why people think they can assume what someone else's life is like. I have a job. There's no free lunch in this world. Connect the dots. Asshats.

Hard at work

Grounded and thankful

I seem to deal fine with jet-lag when I get to a place, maybe because I'm running on adrenaline. After all, have to get those presentations done! But jet-lag after I get back is horrendous.

Happy to not hop across time zones for awhile.

Best part of the layover

Sitting and walking along the Seine on a beautiful, sunny, and cool day.

Blessed.

Land training

Friendship

It's not just inviting someone to visit; it's offering someone a place to work even when they visit.

We fail?
But screw your courage to the sticking-place

And we'll not fail

~ Lady Macbeth 

"We work hard not because we need to feel worthy, but because God has already made us worthy. . . . Jesus's power did not make him invincible; it made him vulnerable. We have been so blessed by God that we are free to give power away to bless others. God has us covered."
-- Pastor Brett

more people i love

Nothing I ever deserved.

Definitions

"That's faith, by the way: triggering grace by taking God at his word." ~ Levi Lusko

Twin

Mar gave me the red notebook that matched her blue. Aww.

Models of pedagogy, mentoring, collegiality, and friendship. Unusual and rare in our line of work。

Culver city

A beautiful May morning. Thankful for the hospitality and the friendship that made this trip possible.

Closing of a chapter

The Mellow Felons are officially coming to an end.

FL and SMS developed a space for generosity and rigor in a line of work that is not always very hospitable.