Well, I met one of my deadlines today. Sort of. I'm ambivalent about it because, well, as with all writing, one can always keep revising. I know I can be impatient with myself but the reality is that I wasted a lot of time in the past few years, and now, I always feel like I have to catch up. But don't worry, I won't beat myself up about it. :)
It's been a hard week because of a slight spurt of teaching and work responsibilities but it's also been really interesting. I've learned a lot and I'm still happy about being here! Last weekend, I had a conversation with someone from Ithaca--older and wiser--about my struggles with anxiety, and it was freeing to hear her say, "Uhm, that sounds pretty normal, z." And then we talked about why my anxiety was normal and not a spiritual failure. I'm learning (and re-learning) that there's nothing wrong with being human, and that our spiritual walk is about being human. Being human is also part of who we are in Christ.
And, I'm also actually looking forward to having lunch with friends in Chinatown this Saturday!
PS - That same friend--a trained Christian therapist, actually--also recommended that I try a supplement called L-theanine, to help with the stress and I think it works. Well, that, and more spiritual discipline. :):):)
It is interesting that we are human and we know it but somehow we seem to be under some unseen pressure / expectation not to be "so human"? Wonder if this makes sense?
ReplyDeleteIs it the expectations of modern society? Or ... modern interpretation of Christianity? *shudder*
On a side note - guess I will just drink more tea ...
makes perfect sense. personally, i think it's the modern interpretation of christianity. seriously. i clearly remember listening to sermons about how we *should* live victoriously because we have been freed from sin. those ideas are the norm rather than the exception.
ReplyDelete:) you have to drink about 6 cups of tea to even feel the effects (green tea is best, btw). you can prob get L-theanine at a health food store. it's not a prescription because it's an amino acid supplement.