Fear of pain

 This has been a season in the wilderness. I actually think it began a year and a half ago, ironically, when I felt like I had finally left Egypt. I remember the place and occasion when I had that thought, "Ah, I have left slavery and I'm standing outside the Promised Land."

And then I entered into a year and a half of testing like I've never experienced before. Like the Israelites, I hadn't realized that the miracle of the Red Sea would be followed by 40 years of wandering. (I do pray that this season won't last 40 literal years.)

But in this time, it is true that He has led me to oases for times of refreshment and rest. A year after thinking I had left Egypt, one person gave me the word, "Step out" and another, "What you have asked for has been granted." 

I am waiting for both these words to be fulfilled, but I do believe that in the spiritual realm, they have already been set into motion.

God is also very strategic. As I wrote testimony #11, He used it to unravel more. Pulling on one small knot can lead to the unravelling of other knots.

The next stage may not be easier, who knows? (God does, of course. That was a rhetorical question.) But in all things, God will lead me as a cloud by day and a pillar of fire by night, and His presence will never depart from me. He will provide manna and quail.

And as I keep healing for past wounds, pain might become less fearsome. Like athletes who submits our bodies to training--micro-tears!--I will get stronger. I am already stronger. God will keep me from harm. 

(But still, I can't wait to get out of the wilderness.)

1 Chronicles 4:10

Jabez cried out to the God of Israel, “Oh, that you would bless me and enlarge my territory! Let your hand be with me, and keep me from harm so that I will be free from pain.” And God granted his request.