more time on my hands

I feel more relaxed and have more time to do my own thing when my close, single girl friends begin a relationship because they no longer have to talk about their day with me. I'm happy to talk with them, of course, but sometimes, I really don't need to hear about what happened at the office, or what movies they want to watch or like to watch. I'd never tell them that, of course. But I'm very happy for them!!!!!!!!

I hope this doesn't make me a terrible person.....

mentoring

Went to the campus christian faculty prayer meeting today, and it was so nice to just pause and be reminded we're a part of God's work, and not that God is a part of our work. Thankful also for senior faculty members who are calm and kind. 

Just reminds me that I need to ask God to make me gentle.....

blessed

Starting Monday off with this unexpected, exhilarating thought: "I love my life."

Politics

We may be caught up in a historical moment. China has been flexing its muscles over HK, and the organizers of Occupy Central may be gearing up for major protests. Student unions in the major universities all over HK may also participate in these protests but hold them on their campuses.

I'm proud to say that my faculty has decided to support our students in what they choose to do. I've offered to reschedule my classes to the evening or the weekends as a measure of support.

I must say that I don't like to disrupt my lessons, and I don't like it when my students can't attend my classes. Personally, these strikes may hurt the students as individuals, and it is a cost that the university community has to bear. But we also need to send a message that will be loud and clear to the Chinese government that HK is part of China, but is prepared to fight for democracy, and for an independent judiciary.

Business cannot go on as usual, but how do we do it in a way that hurts China, and not us? But if we do not pay the cost now, the cost we pay later will be much higher. Oy vey. God, grant wisdom and courage to those in positions of leadership, as well as to the rest of us.

Fall 2014

And, the stress is back! I can't say I've missed the stress, but hey, it's back!

Some of it is exciting. I'm excited to teach a new class, and I'm excited to see some of my favorite students who have signed up for my classes. I'll miss the students who have graduated.

The faculty is going through a search for a new dean, and one of the candidates is really amazing. His/her accomplishment is way out of the ballpark, and I'd never be able to replicate that kind of track record. But his/her energy and enthusiasm is inspiring. Something I learned: recognize the problems for what they are, but use as much positive language as possible because you come across as being ready and equipped to solve the problem.

Some people complain a lot (seriously) but they just come across as bitter and impotent. Note to self....

I would like to be productive this year. I really, really would.

Peking Duck

Really yummy

Old friends in HK

Favorite dimsum thing

流沙包

Lau sar pau

Had this for breakfast with a childhood friend who manages to annoy me on a regular basis, Mr. Moh.

Life lesson from work

I need to slow down and explain myself clearly. There's no need to rush through things, and I can be more patient with myself as I let my thoughts unfold. I need to take my space. My thoughts need to take their space.

Hopefully, all this makes sense in the future.

please....

I wish I could survive on less sleep so that I can do everything I want to do: work hard at my job, pray, read, spend time with friends and family, volunteer, play badminton, and go to the gym. All these things are important to me....

It seems like the one thing that I've had to learn to do consistently over the past 20 years is to learn to weigh what people teach me. I need to remain teachable, but not what everyone tells me is true--even if they're convinced they are--or right. Sometimes, it may not be right for me at that time.

The fear of the Lord is the beginning of all wisdom. Lord, have mercy.

God's answer: I have loved you with an everlasting love.

Quit it with the non sequiturs, O Master of the Universe.

I love you too.

more dreams

Dreamed that I profited from the largesse of a college friend's cooking skills (Zoia C., by the way), and that, with another college friend (Michelle A.), I took over and lived in a tiny Hong Kong-style mall shop with glass walls all around.

So, what's my unconscious telling me? I don't really keep in touch with either Zoia or Michelle even if I do think they're both really wonderful women, and Zoia's more of an expert dancer rather than chef. I guess dreams don't really mean anything and I shouldn't put anything by them.

In the summer, it gets so hot here that water coming out of my kitchen taps are hot in the morning. 

the unconscious

I dreamed last night that I presented one of my current chapters to a bunch of non-academic friends, and they very uninterested, confused, and dismissive. One of my dissertation committee members was there and she tried to discuss it with me in a helpful manner, but I was even more embarrassed because she was there.

Oh boy.

Beauty

On a hot and muggy summer night

Physical fatigue

I can't remember the last time I felt this tired after two days of working out; one day at the gym, and the second day on court. This is not unusual for me, but I have spent the last month and a half outside of my routines, so maybe that explains why my body is screaming today.

My entire body feels bruised.

And I cannot believe it's already mid-July. Where has my summer gone? I need to write. Come on, brain and body, get with the groove, please.

I'm glad that I won't be traveling for the rest of the year.

I feel like I've lost my drive for work, but I want to see the end of this project. I'm not writing the way I want to write, and I'd like a breakthrough. The break of travel was great because I did see some things differently and my brain wasn't trundling along the same old ruts.

But now, it's time to get back into a productive routine. Please?

Psalm 23:8

The Lord says, "I will guide you along the best pathway for your life. I will advise you and watch over you."

and we're back

Had a great time at home! Always nice to be back and not really working, haha.

But oh, to get back on the wheel? So tough. I schedule reading days right after a trip but it doesn't feel like "real" work. Even though it is. I mean, how will I know what books to teach if I don't read new ones, right?

So why doesn't it feel like real work???

Update: okay, so if you're reading a more complex novel, it does feel like real work....

Updated update: okay, I had a nightmare thanks to that novel....

Back home for a week

It's the dry season season now but it has rained every day the three days I have been here. So thankful for the blessing of rain!

There's nothing like lying in bed on a rainy evening. The rain soaked breeze here feels and smells different from everywhere else in the world.

Sea glass

While I was in Palermo, I asked God for a piece of sea glass to remind me of how he makes things new, and redeems our brokenness. Jan Chandler taught me about sea glass. It's the glass you find on the beach after the sea, sand, and sky have made broken pieces of glass smooth, and it is usually opaque. After noticing all the broken bottles of beer on Palermo's beach, I thought, hey! that should be easy for God. There's so much raw material here already.

But noooooo, not one teeny piece of sea glass for me.

So, here you are, God, I'll be waiting for you to answer this prayer. I never thought of myself as very girly, but it is nice to have a little bling bling sometimes. And I want me a nice piece of sea glass, thanks!

Ephemeral

Found out that an old classmate died yesterday from dengue fever. It was a bit of a shock to hear that someone I know could die from a mosquito bite.

Life is strange. And completely outside of my control. So, I should get used to it and be more relaxed in general because life won't always turn out the way I want it to even if I do everything right. And of course, there's no way I can do everything right.

And God is still God so I can leave things up to Him.

Why is this so hard?

Thankful for a couple of friends who were there for me yesterday.

Penance

This jet lag is completely unpredictable. Completely.

And there are days when I feel so alienated in HK. Is that jet lag or is that a longing for Home?

World Cup fever!

I love it when my friends are crazy over a sport. Okay, maybe not really. I mean I get infected by World Cup fever even if I don't watch any of the games. But I love reading fb feed related to the matches!

Hup, Holland! 

Ugh

I hate Rome Fiumicino! You make my journeys longer every time I have to transit here!

Avoid when possible.

Almost done

Exhausted. Love the Amalfi coastline. Pictures really don't do it justice. Here I am, loving the wonderful time away for the break it's given me from my routine. But I am also excited to get back to my own life now.

Half of the chapter is still buried in mud but I think half of it is finally surfacing. Fingers crossed. 

I feel like I have forgotten how to play badminton but hey, I got to fall in love with Amalfi's craggy coastline, deep blue waters and majestic cliffs. I am sure many Gothic films were shot here, and if they haven't been, they should. 

God's creation is amazing. Now, I hope I get to the train station later without getting rained on. 

White flag

I think being here has really given me thinking space. My brain seems a little freer now that I am not just barreling through my routine. This is God's grace to the imperfect person that I am.

I know I can do terrible things and I am tired of fighting it. I give up. This is who I am and I am not perfect. Sorry, world. Can't pretend to be good. I am just someone who struggles. That's me.

Love that is bigger than my imagination

Really good article.  http://hearingtheheartbeat.com/2014/06/09/grace-on-credit/

Palermo again

What am I doing here? I have not seen another Chinese face here. Although Italian people are very polite and don't stare. I would if I saw another Chinese face!

Let's hope the work portion of the trip goes well because there's not much in this tiny town. Great beaches though.

It took me over an hour of walking to get to this secluded cove but even the more accessible beaches have really clear water.

Bye, sports fellowship committee!

Stepped down from SFC because I just feel like my schedule is too hectic. Our glorious leader gave the two of us who are leaving a bag of his favorite candy from France where his family lives. It's super sweet but also addictive.

Flambe

On the way to Tuen Mun

I took this picture on the top deck of a double-decker bus on my way to Tuen Mun to play with some friends on a HK holiday (Duen Ng Festival). I read a bit in the morning then headed over for afternoon games. Came back to the island for dinner with another set of friends whom I hadn't seen in awhile. What a great way to spend a day off. And it's nice to have friends. Duh. Hahahaha.