more on sports

I help out at the church's sports fellowship, and we organizing sporting events for our congregation. It's a big church, and doing something fun together helps people meet other people and find friends, and we usually organize events that we enjoy doing too.

A few months ago, I roped in the team-manager/coach of my club to organize a badminton session for underprivileged kids with the help of a ministry in my church that helps with local charities in town (yes, that's how big the church is). Anyway, the contact person in that ministry just asked if our committee can help organize another event for underprivileged kids. Phew. I never thought of myself as an event planner.

always busy

Almost done with grading now, but this week, I have meetings and lectures to attend. As we are expected to respond to work that has been sent ahead of time, I have a lot of reading to do too. At least it will be better than grading, but wow, there's always so much to do.

Incidentally, the real feel of today's weather is 40 degrees Celcius!!!

more on baddy

Yeah, it's crazy how much I think about baddy these days. Outside of work, I spend most of my time on court, and even when I'm not on court, I think about baddy too. Part of it has to do with how I'm obsessed about making certain changes to my game and I drive myself nuts because I can't seem to change my muscle memory. (Years of playing a certain way will do that to you.) And a part of it has to do with what I'm learning about grace.

As a single woman, I'm always, always, always so thankful for my platonic guy friends. That I love my girl-friends goes without saying. But the world often doesn't recognize that we all need healthy relationships with folks of both genders. (I'll save that rant for another time.) On court, the guys--most of whom are way better than us girls--have been "yelling" at me because I play poorly, and I probably sound like a masochist, but I am so grateful to them. Because one cannot quickly change the way one's muscles work, they have to correct my form repeatedly, and that is grace on their part. Sometimes, I get yelled at so much that I feel demoralized and close to tears, but when I am able to think clearly, I know how privileged I am, and how my game will improve when I am able to institute these basic changes.

Last night, another woman was really struggling with her game because we were playing against a strong pair, and during our game, I realized I was starting to sound like Chi Wai, one of the men who has been helping me with my XD game. I parroted what Chi Wai says to me all the time: "It's okay, don't worry, just relax." "It's okay, it's just a game, no problem! Don't worry, just play." My friend's game slowly got better, and after that session she thanked me at least three times. When I checked Facebook after getting home that night, she had sent me a message with just two words. "Thank you."

I realized for the first time how extending grace to others in the club is important because I've been given so much myself. Of all the girls in our club, I get yelled at the most, so I know how terrible it feels to be a weak link in the team. But, I also know how amazing it is to have teammates who accept you as you are, but who also do the hard work of speaking truth into your life. That's community. And increasingly, I see how much grace is needed among the people with whom I play baddy. I don't see myself spending this much time on baddy in the future, but for now, it is teaching me so much about life and it gives me an opportunity to be blessed myself, and to bless others also.

Before bed, I finished a chapter of John Ortberg's Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, and in the exercise section, he had a simple scale on which we can gauge how open we are to our communities, either care groups, family, or friends, etc. I was shocked to realize that I am the most open with by baddy community, followed by my care group here, and that I am the least open with my family. (I left out my close friends scattered all around the world.) What do I do with that?

"To know and be known--which had been the greatest joy of the human race--now becomes the greatest fear of the human race."

- John Ortberg, Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, on the consequence of the Fall.

over!

The league season is over now! Thank God.

Women's doubles: Bronze (happy)
Mixed doubles: Silver (heartbreak)

And now, grading hell begins. This time, it will take me quite awhile to get through everything.

crazy court time

Over the past few weeks, there have been occasions when I played badminton four days in a row. This is a far cry from how I had to be careful not to play two days in a row, and it means I'm learning a lot both about badminton, but also about how to keep centered too. My time on court is fun and fulfilling when I remember that I should be looking out for moments of grace, and that I should also offer grace when I can. This is sometimes surprisingly difficult.

We have two more weekends of matches and then we're done with the season. 

Voted!

Very proud to have voted for the first time in my life! This is also the first time in my life when M'sia has allowed postal voting. The process went fairly smoothly in Hong Kong, but I heard from a friend that she waited about 6 hrs to cast her ballot in London! I can't imagine what voting in M'sia will be like. The lines will be super-long, and that may discourage some voters.

Will be playing a lot of badminton over the next two weeks as we finish up the last rounds of the competition. At this point, we are playing round-robin matches in women's doubles which is fun because we get to keep playing even when we lose. I hope that's the same format in mixed doubles too because my match nerves--or the lack thereof--are getting to me.

Work is busy busy busy but I am starting to relax a bit because I have one more lecture to prepare for the rest of the academic year. It'll be time to get going on other kinds of work, but at least I no longer have that on my back.

gunkiness

Sick again! This is the second time I've been sick in 3 weeks. And this time, I am twice as congested. My meds are supposed to work for 12 hours but they seem to work for only about half that time when they do work at all. Temps have also been fluctuating like crazy.

Had a great if brief visit with relatives who went to Macau. My grannie likes to play roulette! Too cute. I think she won some.

I'd really like to be able to breathe again.....Antihistamines are not working!

phew!

I played badminton four days in a row, and each session lasted between 2-3 hours each. I am physically tired today, although my muscles don't seem to be sore, and my shoulder is keeping up too. I'll have a two day break before going back to the gym and then I hit the courts again on Saturday. I won't be playing as much in the coming week, sadly. I am tired now, but my mind craves the dopamine rush and that other kind of rush that comes from playing well with your partner. I can see how this is a form of addiction!! I feel so empty today.

I am too busy today and tomorrow to actually be able to do any exercise.

on learning

I love my friend's piece on how a non-profit center is making a difference in the lives of the children who hang out there. I'd like to schedule naptime into my classes but I'd lose my job.

last stretch

One more month of lecturing and then, it's grading hell! But on a more positive note, I had a pretty good Monday, and I am feeling better this week, so maybe I was just suffering from the after-effects of having to take Panadol Flu last week. They definitely put me to sleep during the night, but I spent my days trying to keep my eyes open too. This week, insomnia is back with a vengeance.

So, so, so tired.....I hope this is just due to this cold that won't go away.

Spring is here

Hong Kong's spring brings with it warmer weather and a lot of rain! We will continue to have rainstorms throughout the summer, so while the skies are a lot cleaner in the spring and summer, it can also be difficult to plan outdoor events. I hope to go on at least one junk boat trip this summer! I found myself on two boat trips the past two summers, and I thought I was really lucky to be on so many! Fingers crossed for at least one trip this year.

The past few weeks have been difficult for various reasons. And reading the news certainly does not help. My heart breaks for parents of young children, both boys and girls. The world is such a crazy and dangerous place, and it is still especially hard for girls and women. The parents of little boys have their work cut out for them if they want their boys to grow up to be godly men.

Getting a shot of dopamine either from being on court, or from a gym workout helps me feel grounded, but one of my colleagues from pharmacology joked that I may have an addiction to exercise. Well, as far as addictions go, I like mine a lot, and I don't think I'm overdoing it; I don't have time to over-exercise!

What else has been going on? Nothing that I can put on a blog for public consumption. Oh, sweet Jesus, come again, oh, come again.

found a new singer on a chinese radio channel

mortality

I received a message a few days ago notifying me that a good friend from college has passed away unexpectedly from unknown causes. All of us are in shock because she has seemed happy and healthy.

Unexpected deaths are difficult to process. I also learned that a friend is fighting cancer, and another friend has a brain tumor that luckily seems to be benign.

This has been a tough week.

Christian faculty retreat

We had a short Christian faculty retreat at HKU--no sleeping overnight, just sessions scheduled on Sunday afternoon and Monday morning--and it was fantastic. John Stackhouse and Ian Provan spoke, and they are both very gifted teachers who offered a holistic perspective on what it means to be Christian academics. They both begin with the premise that God made us to be human beings first, not "Christians," and therefore, our primary calling is to be human, not Christian. We will be able to live happy and full lives as academics if we live fully as human beings. Here are my brief summaries of what I learned in the sessions. I didn't write everything down, so what I have here is very selective. Their lectures were more humorous and well-designed then my simple renditions make them out to be.

"Our vocation is not more, or less, important than others."

From Ian Provan's sessions, I learned that the story of the Bible is the story of creation, the fall, and Christ's redemption. In all these threads, God has designed us to steward and care for the earth for the common good. God's mission in the redemption actually goes further than in his creation because we are to participate in the story of redemption. Fundamentally, the university is a part of that work because universities pursue truth and virtue, and the excellent pursuit of truth and virtue is a pursuit of the common good! Ian Provan demonstrated through his readings of scripture, especially in the Old Testament, that not only is there a design to God's story, but also that it is a beautiful one. He has a forthcoming book called "Seriously Dangerous Religion" and I would love to get it when it comes out!

"Being faithful to Jesus Christ means doing almost nothing for Him."

Making disciples is not hard, it is impossible. As teachers, we understand how tough it is to change our own students' minds, and that's when we're in a relationship where we are seen as teachers! The work of discipleship is the work that God does through us. We just have to keep in mind that the point of being a Christian is to be a "proper" human being, that is, to live as God designed us to live. The work of the university is to train people to be good citizens and free persons. This is the project of the liberal arts, and it is not in conflict with what God calls us to do. God will not let us fail in what He has called us to do. We may fail to do what we want to do, however! The university is a broken and flawed system, and anyone who works in a university knows that. However, God does not call us to fight everything, or correct everything. He calls us to do certain things in certain seasons, so we need to be attuned to what He wants us to do for that particular moment, day, or seasons, and to trust that He will give us the resources to do it.

I learned so much from these sessions, and was so relieved to hear about the struggles my other Christian colleagues go through because I can now see that these problems are not just mine alone. Both speakers affirmed that our vocation is a valuable one, and to hear it from other Christian academics was life-giving. I am also now convicted to attend the Christian faculty fellowship more regularly this semester.

woohoo!

My XD and WD teams are through the preliminary rounds! I am making a lot of mistakes during our matches and our WD team was lucky to win our match last weekend as all of us were making a lot of mistakes. This is pretty interesting! We were all very tired the day after though, especially since me and one other girl played our XD match the night before as well. The other girls are on the Grade D XD team while we're playing in Grade E.

Next week is reading week, and I can't wait for a bit of a break from lecture prep!

it never ends

Every week, I think to myself, "Okay, I need to free up my schedule so that I'm not always so busy." And then the following week turns out to be just as busy. I have a great life, and I enjoy having meals with friends, and playing badminton, and doing things at church. But I need more nights at home, watching TV on the couch.

And, p.s., I need to assign easier readings in my classes too.

post-CNY blues?

Got back last night and will be teaching tonight and tomorrow in the morning. I look forward to crashing on my couch this Sunday! There is no time difference, but I feel fatigued anywhere. Maybe being on a plane fatigues me?? One day, there will be scientific proof for this.

My break was restful--but I also had to prep for lectures from home--and I enjoyed seeing family and friends. After a week at home, I usually feel really terrible when it is time to leave even though I know that once I am on the plane, I will be fine. I'm not homesick now, but why is it so hard to leave home even though I've been away for about fifteen years now???

Weird.

favorite part of CNY celebrations

seeing into the future

I predict that I will spend most of the semester playing catch up. This is going to be a really tough semester.

Why am I leaving town during the lunar new year? Oh, right, because of family. Next year, I really have to say no. There's just too much to do during the semester!

shot in the arm

This week, five different students took the time to tell me that they like the way I teach. The last student to tell me this stopped me while I was at the gym yesterday, and boy, those side crunches were a lot easier after that! I hope this gives me enough energy for the entire semester!! Every morning when I wake up, I remind myself that God has given me enough time and strength to do what I need to do for the day.

of belated realizations

I've recently realized that gluten causes my skin to breakout, and that it is almost impossible to live gluten-free here because gluten is in almost all brands of soy sauce. I'm also crossing off spelt from my list of usable flours. 

ouch

I finally bit the bullet and went to the physiotherapy unit, and was told there that I need to take a break from all forms of exercise to allow my arm to recover. I think the entire clinic heard my exclamation of surprise. I went in thinking that my therapist would teach me better stretches (she did do that too), and I did not expect her to tell me that I cannot use my arm. Well, guess who's not telling her physiotherapist that she has an XD match on Sunday morning?

I also need to go back for several sessions of therapy. After my first session yesterday, my arm felt a lot looser and more relaxed....and also weaker. I don't think I can hold a racket right now. But, I won't be going to the gym or playing before Sunday's game, and luckily, after Sunday's match, I won't have another match until March, so I'll have time to let my arm heal. My arm already feels a little better after yesterday's treatment, and two days ago, the university finally installed a temporary keyboard drawer that allows me to work without putting stress on my wrist, arm and shoulder. (It only took them about four months to follow-up on my request.)

Once, when I was in college, I went to the health center for an appointment, and the nurse asked if I was an athlete. I said, yes, I play varsity squash, but why do you ask? She explained that women in general are more likely to put up with pain, and women athletes, even more so. The nurse said that they take female athletes very seriously when they complain about pain because it's more likely to be serious. I thought it was funny then, but I know better now.

I can't go into this in great detail now because I'm working on a new syllabus--classes start next week, yikes!--but I am very thankful for the church homegroup I've been attending the past five months. I learn a lot from the vulnerability and trust the group members show each other, and I learn a lot from the lessons they are going through right now. 

baddy, wow

I was super stressed before the women's doubles match, but we ended up doing fine. I'm now super stressed about the mixed doubles match. The games themselves are fun but I am often paralyzed by the fear of failure. My teammates have been great though, so I'm learning a lot. I'm certainly physically exhausted from playing too much last week, but the mental stress is taking a much larger toll. I need to either figure out how to be more relaxed, or quit playing in competitions.

I'm learning that I need to enjoy the game, and that playing each shot well is pleasurable on its own. I may not have a wide repertoire of shots right now, but I have enough so I should do what I can. Once more, I have to be patient as I can only grow as fast as grace allows.

It also helps to have kind and experienced teammates who do all they can to help me settle down in my playing style.

Update: I talked to an old, old friend about this and she said, "You stress out about everything! You're just a stressor!" Haha, yeah, I've come to that realization myself. I do need to figure out how to relax and have fun in life and work. After all, all I have to do is what God calls me to do, right? And He won't expect me to do what I am unable to do. (But, Lord, help me keep my job, haha.....)

nerves, nerves, nerves

We have our first women's doubles match this Saturday, and tempers are flaring. And no, it's not just mine!! At least two other people have gotten really mad over the past few days. I think the friend I told off last night understood why I was mad with what he did. I hope so. Our friendship will survive but boy, I know now that I can't always trust his judgment!

sons and daughters

This is a great blog post about what we all need to learn. Some of these lessons take a lifetime to learn.

Goodbye, 2012

So, this is the last day of the year! I have a lot to be thankful for: job renewal; improvement in my badminton game and joining a new baddy club; good health; continued friendships; and a lot of valuable life lessons. But all those blessings did not come without work, pain, or endurance. I had to live with uncertainty for many months before the renewal was confirmed. I suffered from a knee injury that was healed after 3-4 months of rest and therapy. My badminton game has improved but I have so much more to learn, and instituting the few changes I've made to my game was mentally taxing. My friendships continue by the grace of God, and sometimes, through difficult and painful conversations. Those conversations may not become less difficult in the future, perhaps because I am "too sensitive."

What do I hope 2013 will bring? I hope for more rest, not just physically, but also mentally and spiritually. I may be greedy, but I hope for more blessings from God, and I hope that I will also bless others even when they treat me like crap. The older I get, the more I realize that I want a quiet, safe life.

merry christmas!