hard week

Lots on my mind. Got an email from my uncle yesterday saying that my dad has kidney failure. Fwded it to my mom, and she quickly wrote back saying that the doctors are not sure yet, and they still have to do a lot of tests. Spoke to both of them this morning and my dad sounded fine so I feel a little better, I guess.

Woke up in the middle of the night with anxious thoughts about the job market. I know that most people don't get jobs their first year on the market, but we're encouraged to apply as widely as possible anyway. I'm still sending things out but the thought of being rejected so many times is difficult. My last deadline for applications is Feb 1. This is a very long and drawn out process.

I'm already too emotionally involved with the admissions process here at The House. Even if I don't get a job--and I probably won't get a job--I won't be living here at The House next year. It's too tiring, and I want to focus all my time on the job market next year. I feel like I'm already doing a lot but maybe I could be doing even more. Well, life will just work itself out.