Slogging Through Mud

I've never been more convinced that growth is slow and painful, and that more often than not, it is marked by regressions and mis-steps. I hope to write again more fully but thought I'd just say for now that my emotional life continues to be turbulent and Friend K had to talk me through how life really is about being in relationship with others even as I have to struggle to get everything done.

"Forgiveness" has been on my mind in many areas of my life, including the personal, the political, and the intellectual. On a personal level, it's been really important for me to learn and remember that forgiveness recognizes the wrong that has been done but then decides to restore the relationship anyway. (Of course, this doesn't apply to abusive or manipulative relationships or instances when there is very real danger.)

I need to learn to discern what kinds of dangers really exist and just how guarded I really have to be. I have been too guarded in the past and while that has probably protected me from being hurt, being too aloof has probably limited my own horizon and the kinds of experiences I would have had otherwise. Pausing and counting the cost in each relationship a little more carefully makes sense because in doing so, I may find that there are greater benefits to being more vulnerable and giving.

Wow, I thought this post would be a little shorter. :) Anyway, I have other thoughts that were sparked by today's sermon at church.

ps - on a more practical note, I still need to find an apartment!!