reception for first year students

Yes, I'm in there somewhere.

Desperation Band, Strong God

new school year

When school begins, I truly realize just how busy my schedule is! Must slow down!!!!! 

the world keeps shifting under my feet

Last week, the team manager of my club made me captain of the women's team for our upcoming tournament, but he did so without my agreement. We haven't had captains in our club, but we will begin taking turns to be captain. Unfortunately, this has not been made clear, but I announced it in a group email this morning. 

People who play on a team will probably understand how annoying team dynamics can be. This club is as political as others. I've only been captain for a week, and I'm already tired. 

The members of the Sports Fellowship Committee for church shares prayer requests, and I've asked them to keep me in prayer because I am inexperienced as far as competitions go, and I am also a fairly new addition to the club. Developing my own skills as a player is already enough work without adding on this extra burden of organizing practice and the lineup, and to motivate the team members to come for practice! There are a few girls who are incredibly immature, and they make it really hard for me to do my job, and they make it hard for our other team members too. 

Please pray that I will have wisdom, patience, and the ability to love others at the club. And please pray that God will refine my character through this challenge. I do need to learn to be more patient.

Pollution

Horrible!

Last days of summer

Getting ready for the junk trip!

Cloudy day at the office

numbers

This semester, I will also have about 75 papers to grade. I am not looking forward to this.

On a completely unrelated note, I think I will finally cave and get a smartphone. I just have to find time to go buy a phone and get started on a cheap and slow data plan. I hardly watch HD videos while I'm stationary, so I won't need a fast connection when I am on the MTR. I just hope slow internet will get me connected to Tunein Radio!

on my mind

I think it's time that I actually finish NT Wright's Evil and the Justice of God.

PS - Cambodia

Nathan, from World Relief, reminded us that we are to pray light into darkness, and to focus on the hope that God is bringing to those who are suffering. This was a really important reminder as a few of us were getting overwhelmed by the enormity of the problems to which we were introduced.

So much to learn.

back from Cambodia

In the past, I felt that going on a mission trip makes one "holier" or "more close to God"; I was wrong then, and I still don't think it's true now. I hope my note does not make anyone feel that way! This trip put a human face on the stories I've read about the sex trade, and that was the most moving part of my experience.

The team that went to Cambodia was larger than expected (34 ppl!) so the team was split into two after the first three days: one team stayed in Phnom Penh (PP) for the whole week, and the other team went to Siem Reap (SR) for three days before rejoining us. I was with the PP team. The SR team partnered with one local organization, White Doves, while the PP team were introduced to many different organizations. The two experiences were quite different because the SR team managed to engage more deeply with one community while the PP team saw different kinds of work that are being done to combat the sex trade.

The breadth of sexual exploitation is horrific in Cambodia. We heard stories from workers inInt'l Justice Mission and Agape Int'l Missions about how they investigate and trail paedophiles who fly to Cambodia specifically to find children who are often prostituted by their fathers, mothers, or grandmothers.

We learned that some of the kids who go to Agape church's kid's club are also trafficked, and seeing the faces of these kids in the church was emotionally difficult. The church cannot stop it unless they abduct the kids and forcibly keep them apart from their families, so they focus on investigating paedophiles (usually foreigners) who come to their community and setting up social enterprises to provide well-paying work and discipleship. 

IJM and World Relief do prevention work like trying to change the country's laws and educating villagers about how traffickers lure their victims. We spent a whole day going about with different World Relief workers in the slum villages where children and their families live in and about garbage. I was very moved by one of our meetings with a cell church there because the women we met with had so little, but they wanted so much to bless us.  

Daughters of Cambodia, Sak Saum, and Precious Women provide care and restoration to survivors of the sex trade, and this includes intensive counseling as well as providing well-paying work in the social enterprises they have set up themselves. DC and Sak Saum were a hit with our team, and are definitely worth checking out online. The girls in our team could not stop shopping at their stores!

I loved touring their workshops and seeing some of the men and women survivors who work there help me remember that these are not just theoretical ideas. There are many, very real, human beings who have been deeply hurt and broken.

Agape Int'l Mission also has a workshop in Svay Pak (the village where they are situated) to provide work for survivors, and they would love it if you could order your church t-shirts from them! I've seen some of their bracelets and t-shirts, and they do very good work. In all these organizations, the survivors are paid a very good wage for Cambodia, so you can have peace of mind that these are fair-trade products.

This note is already too long, and I haven't even talked about Jumpah and Jehovah Jireh which are centers that focus on orphans and slum kids. This is where we "helped" the most and I could go on and on about the kids.....

During our trip, we heard not only success stories--and our God is a GREAT GOD who does mighty work!!--but also about how these ministries often fail. It is difficult for adults to leave the sex trade if they have been trafficked as children because they feel they are dirty, useless, and unwanted. The people who work in these ministries know that they can do the work they do only because of God's strength and we felt the Holy Spirit move with them while we were there.

Would I go on another mission trip? I don't know what the future holds. But I would certainly like to be with a smaller team and I will not feel guilty about taking care of myself when the schedule is designed for extroverts!

My home remedies are helping with the cold I started coming down with on the last day of the trip, but I do still have a bit of a nagging cough.

reflections on (HK) life

Because I took on my first job here, I cannot always tell the difference between "adult life" and HK culture. Am I just seeing the world as it really is, or are these new befuddlements particular to this place and time? A good friend here sometimes says, "But z, it's like this everywhere," and sometimes, she says, "Yeah, that's so local." Sometimes, I'm not so sure she's always clear what is what, or which is which, either.

I think I'm learning another life lesson through badminton. In an earlier post, I noted that the politics of the club is making me unhappy, and that led me to ask, "Well, who is happy in this club, and why?" There are three kinds of people in my club:

1. Those who recognize that there is a hierarchy and are happy to submit to it. (They seem happy.)

2. Those who recognize that there is a hierarchy and don't want to submit to it. (They seem unhappy.)

3. Those who don't recognize that there is a hierarchy and therefore do not submit to it. (They seem unhappy.)

This certainly mirrors what I see happening in the workplace. Power and hierarchy are such a feature of human life, and no prizes for guessing why. Power and hierarchy are useful social constructions insofar as they help streamline processes within a group. Nothing would get done otherwise, and usually, those on top of the hierarchy are often given most of the work. When things go wrong, those at the top often--but not always--suffer the brunt of the fallout.

Like all things after the Fall, these aspects of life and relationship can bring great pain. It's no surprise then that so much of Euro-American intellectual history revolves around questions of governance and democracy. Great thinkers rightly deduce that individuals and communities cannot survive without addressing three prevailing truths about how God has created us: first, that we are all of value; second, that we are equally valued; and third, that we need live with one another, i.e. that we need to be in community.

What would Christ say to this? What would Christ say to me in the here and now of my own life? Is one able to build up genuine friendships under these circumstances? What is my role in this, and how should I conduct myself?

slowing down

I've been playing only once a week, and it doesn't look like I'll be able to schedule in more games than that. I'm getting antsy even though the crick in my neck tells me that rest will do me good. (I got it in my sleep, and not from over-use.)

The politics in the club is a little weird now, so that makes me less happy. Maybe I need to find a place where I can play and improve and be happy. I don't need to play in competitions and if taking that out of the mix will make me happier, then maybe that's what I need to do.

On another note, it is a hot summer day that is blessedly clear. The city sparkles on nights like this one. This picture does not do it justice.

Great idea

Had a mostly fun but somewhat stressful trip to France and Belgium. It became stressful when my credit card wouldn't work and I ran out of cash. Loved the murals on the walls in Brussels.

shared brokenness

I like this story that a friend posted on his blog. There's comfort in knowing that others understand how it feels to be broken, and Christ, above all, knows how it feels to be broken so he has that in common with us.

I asked God on Saturday night for healing and for intimacy. I still haven't heard voices of any kind, but I do feel more at peace now. He works with thunder and lightning in some people's lives, and sometimes I envy that. But I guess I can learn to be thankful for how quiet and gentle His presence is in my life.

the T word

You know what I like best about being a tourist? Not having any responsibilities.

scary

Every time we have to make a decision, the dept starts to fight. And while I understand why this one colleague of mine gets really angry, I also think said colleague needs to learn to deal with all that anger. I feel like I need to buy an energy crystal for my office after I read said colleague's emails!

Just to feel a little better myself, I have to look at pictures such as this one:

I don't like inside-pets, but who wouldn't at least want to sleep cheek by jowl with this puppy??

impressions

One of my friends from baddy told me last night that I need to be stronger or people will walk all over me. (Yes, competitive baddy on a club level is extremely political and complicated, go figure.) I almost laughed in her face because people usually find me fierce.

I'd like to think that I am learning to be meek on court. It's harder to be meek in other areas of life, but this is a step in the right direction.

I joined a new home group last August, but took a break during the spring semester because my teaching schedule was overwhelming. The minute classes I ended, I was back with this home group, and I'm glad because I feel like I'm really connecting with them now. That is, I'm learning to be vulnerable with them. Horrors!

happy monday

Someone shared this pic on FB, and I just had to repost this. You can't help smiling when you look at this picture!!

more on sports

I help out at the church's sports fellowship, and we organizing sporting events for our congregation. It's a big church, and doing something fun together helps people meet other people and find friends, and we usually organize events that we enjoy doing too.

A few months ago, I roped in the team-manager/coach of my club to organize a badminton session for underprivileged kids with the help of a ministry in my church that helps with local charities in town (yes, that's how big the church is). Anyway, the contact person in that ministry just asked if our committee can help organize another event for underprivileged kids. Phew. I never thought of myself as an event planner.

always busy

Almost done with grading now, but this week, I have meetings and lectures to attend. As we are expected to respond to work that has been sent ahead of time, I have a lot of reading to do too. At least it will be better than grading, but wow, there's always so much to do.

Incidentally, the real feel of today's weather is 40 degrees Celcius!!!

more on baddy

Yeah, it's crazy how much I think about baddy these days. Outside of work, I spend most of my time on court, and even when I'm not on court, I think about baddy too. Part of it has to do with how I'm obsessed about making certain changes to my game and I drive myself nuts because I can't seem to change my muscle memory. (Years of playing a certain way will do that to you.) And a part of it has to do with what I'm learning about grace.

As a single woman, I'm always, always, always so thankful for my platonic guy friends. That I love my girl-friends goes without saying. But the world often doesn't recognize that we all need healthy relationships with folks of both genders. (I'll save that rant for another time.) On court, the guys--most of whom are way better than us girls--have been "yelling" at me because I play poorly, and I probably sound like a masochist, but I am so grateful to them. Because one cannot quickly change the way one's muscles work, they have to correct my form repeatedly, and that is grace on their part. Sometimes, I get yelled at so much that I feel demoralized and close to tears, but when I am able to think clearly, I know how privileged I am, and how my game will improve when I am able to institute these basic changes.

Last night, another woman was really struggling with her game because we were playing against a strong pair, and during our game, I realized I was starting to sound like Chi Wai, one of the men who has been helping me with my XD game. I parroted what Chi Wai says to me all the time: "It's okay, don't worry, just relax." "It's okay, it's just a game, no problem! Don't worry, just play." My friend's game slowly got better, and after that session she thanked me at least three times. When I checked Facebook after getting home that night, she had sent me a message with just two words. "Thank you."

I realized for the first time how extending grace to others in the club is important because I've been given so much myself. Of all the girls in our club, I get yelled at the most, so I know how terrible it feels to be a weak link in the team. But, I also know how amazing it is to have teammates who accept you as you are, but who also do the hard work of speaking truth into your life. That's community. And increasingly, I see how much grace is needed among the people with whom I play baddy. I don't see myself spending this much time on baddy in the future, but for now, it is teaching me so much about life and it gives me an opportunity to be blessed myself, and to bless others also.

Before bed, I finished a chapter of John Ortberg's Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, and in the exercise section, he had a simple scale on which we can gauge how open we are to our communities, either care groups, family, or friends, etc. I was shocked to realize that I am the most open with by baddy community, followed by my care group here, and that I am the least open with my family. (I left out my close friends scattered all around the world.) What do I do with that?

"To know and be known--which had been the greatest joy of the human race--now becomes the greatest fear of the human race."

- John Ortberg, Everybody's Normal Until You Get to Know Them, on the consequence of the Fall.

over!

The league season is over now! Thank God.

Women's doubles: Bronze (happy)
Mixed doubles: Silver (heartbreak)

And now, grading hell begins. This time, it will take me quite awhile to get through everything.

crazy court time

Over the past few weeks, there have been occasions when I played badminton four days in a row. This is a far cry from how I had to be careful not to play two days in a row, and it means I'm learning a lot both about badminton, but also about how to keep centered too. My time on court is fun and fulfilling when I remember that I should be looking out for moments of grace, and that I should also offer grace when I can. This is sometimes surprisingly difficult.

We have two more weekends of matches and then we're done with the season. 

Voted!

Very proud to have voted for the first time in my life! This is also the first time in my life when M'sia has allowed postal voting. The process went fairly smoothly in Hong Kong, but I heard from a friend that she waited about 6 hrs to cast her ballot in London! I can't imagine what voting in M'sia will be like. The lines will be super-long, and that may discourage some voters.

Will be playing a lot of badminton over the next two weeks as we finish up the last rounds of the competition. At this point, we are playing round-robin matches in women's doubles which is fun because we get to keep playing even when we lose. I hope that's the same format in mixed doubles too because my match nerves--or the lack thereof--are getting to me.

Work is busy busy busy but I am starting to relax a bit because I have one more lecture to prepare for the rest of the academic year. It'll be time to get going on other kinds of work, but at least I no longer have that on my back.

gunkiness

Sick again! This is the second time I've been sick in 3 weeks. And this time, I am twice as congested. My meds are supposed to work for 12 hours but they seem to work for only about half that time when they do work at all. Temps have also been fluctuating like crazy.

Had a great if brief visit with relatives who went to Macau. My grannie likes to play roulette! Too cute. I think she won some.

I'd really like to be able to breathe again.....Antihistamines are not working!

phew!

I played badminton four days in a row, and each session lasted between 2-3 hours each. I am physically tired today, although my muscles don't seem to be sore, and my shoulder is keeping up too. I'll have a two day break before going back to the gym and then I hit the courts again on Saturday. I won't be playing as much in the coming week, sadly. I am tired now, but my mind craves the dopamine rush and that other kind of rush that comes from playing well with your partner. I can see how this is a form of addiction!! I feel so empty today.

I am too busy today and tomorrow to actually be able to do any exercise.

on learning

I love my friend's piece on how a non-profit center is making a difference in the lives of the children who hang out there. I'd like to schedule naptime into my classes but I'd lose my job.

last stretch

One more month of lecturing and then, it's grading hell! But on a more positive note, I had a pretty good Monday, and I am feeling better this week, so maybe I was just suffering from the after-effects of having to take Panadol Flu last week. They definitely put me to sleep during the night, but I spent my days trying to keep my eyes open too. This week, insomnia is back with a vengeance.