Wow

I was really struggling with this and I asked the Holy Spirit, how do I know I have really put something to death? We know that Isaac never really died. What if a part of me still hopes that my "Isaac" never really dies? Is that truly faith?

And the HS pointed out that while Isaac didn't die, Jesus really did die for me. But in the process, He broke the power of death. Because of what Jesus did, nothing truly ever dies anymore.

When we put things on the altar, they are no longer bound by death. By His power and resurrection, God gives them new life. These gifts may undergo transformation, but we can trust that that transformation is for good because look at Jesus.

Even in Isaac's case, he was never truly bound by death! God always took that death upon Himself (via Jesus). Abraham believed even when he didn't understand.... Wow.

Hearing

I've been concerned about not hearing from God, and told Him about it when I was brushing my teeth. God spoke through two others even before I woke up.

I woke up about 7ish, and worried for two hours that everything I’ve done in the past was a waste of time. I finally got up to brush my teeth, and I prayed, “Lord, I’m afraid I won’t be able to hear from You, not because You don’t speak but because I can’t hear so You’ll have to be very, very clear.”

After I brushed my teeth, I checked email and saw emails from two different friends. Friend 1 said, “This is very odd, but I think this is for you.” It was a devotional she was reading, and the message was more or less, “Nothing is wasted. In the midst of trials, God is doing something in you, and not just for you.” 

Friend 2 said that he was meditating on Ecclesiastes, and thought of me. This is what he wrote:

“I pray that God guards you against thinking of your efforts there as meaningless. They weren't, because I trust they were done in obedience. I pray that God will lead you to take the next step, whatever it is, in joyful obedience.”

Friend 2's email was sent at 1am, and Friend 1's email at 12:10am. God knew that I would be worrying about this for two hours after I woke up, and he knew the request on my heart when I brushed my teeth. 

So, He decided to set up His answer to me a few hours before while I was still asleep.

Neither friend is in the habit of sending me their devotionals, and neither friend has their spiritual eyes fully opened.

However, that's not all. Here are my sermon notes from yesterday on the Christmas story. I thought it spoke to me powerfully. 

Genesis 12: 2-3

God may not show you the goal until you are willing to go. 

God is like a father holding our hands as we learn to walk. The baby may fall but the father is always willing to help.

A promise from God created a great deal of tension. The promise of a child at 75.

Genesis 15

God comforted Abram by reaffirming his promise. The opposite of uncertainty is not certainty but faith and trust that God will do what He has promised. In the meantime, we learn patience. A delay is not a delay at all but divine timing.

Abram chose to believe.

Having faith God doesn't prevent Abram from asking for evidence. But the sequence is belief first, then questions.

What we see in Abram’s situation:
“Faith seeking understanding.” -- Thomas Aquinas

God honors Abram’s question and settles him by making a covenant.

The consequence of violating the covenant will be like the animals who have been torn in half. Death and destruction.

During that time, if the covenant is made between two parties of unequal power, the covenant is one sided, and it is the weaker party who has to walk in between the animals.

However, God walks in between the animals instead of Abram because he knows Abram will fail. He chooses to bear Abram's failures even when he knows that Abram will fail to uphold their covenant, and He chooses to honor His promise to him anyway.


During the 400 years of silence between the OT and the NT, God was preparing a new covenant, and a new son, God's own son. God's son was the payment when Abram broke the covenant.

Details, details, details

I checked with Kaz who ordered the orchids and she didn't understand the significance of the day the flowers were delivered. The girls didn't remember, but God did.

My wonderful, sensitive, kind, and tender Father who is never too early or too late.

#nancy
#hannah

When others grow

I was chatting with a friend and she said today that when we wrestle with God, He gives us understanding and reveals His character. I thought that was a wonderful description of walking in faith.

2 years and 5 months ago ....

I didn't know it was possible to feel this happy.

Truth.

Trying new things

Felt like I needed a break so I reached out to a couple of old friends and to my surprise,a day later two of us booked our flights for a short holiday.

When I told another old friend about it, she said it's so not me and it's true. I've never booked a flight 2 weeks before, it's always been at least 2 months before after planning for about half a year.

I'm excited to get away for a bit and so is my friend. 

Weekend lessons

When traveling with my friend's sister, I couldn't help but notice how alike they are in the words they use, and in some of their mannerisms.

But I also noticed that they inherited a portion of their parents' spiritual gifts and blessings too. Their family has a spiritual heritage of generosity and of hospitality. God has blessed them materially, but they are also among the most generous people I've met.

As I was reflecting on this, I wondered if God gave my family a spiritual heritage too. A word came to my mind, and it was "Joy."

It may not always appear true yet, but I'm believing that God can redeem my family and use it to fulfill His purposes.

Because our God is more than able.

Found in my office mailbox

And I found this today too! She wrapped the card in paper so that no one else from work could read her timely words to me. How thoughtful!

Printed at the back of the card (not her handwritten message):

Psalm 62

Sometimes, rest isn't simply doing less. It is the continual rhythm that we can walk in, when we know we are doing what God has asked of us.

at His pace.

Christmas gift

Phone stand. But I need to figure out how it works.

Being a kid for a bit

A few lessons from the year as it comes to a close:

-        It’s okay not to know how to do something. How I learned this?

o   Because mentors like T, Dav, and Chars stepped in to teach me stuff I didn’t know how to do, and I didn’t feel embarrassed or like I was a failure. It was okay not to know.

(Dav, in particular, is cheerleader extraordinaire.)

Isn't this a part of being a kid? Kids don't know how to do everything, but they can learn if they're taught.

-        It’s okay to be a kid. How I learned this?

o   Phi finding and organizing a discounted chicken dinner, or M bringing me along when she checks out a new sushi place.

o   Phi taking Heej and I around Tomorrowland, and us having fun despite our cynical academic selves. Heej really got into the ride where we had to shoot at targets. (But I got a higher score.)

o   Phi helping me unbuckle my seat belt at the Ironman ride.

I don’t need to always have it altogether or know everything. 

And it’s okay to take care of others because they will take care of themselves too. We just take turns doing it. It's not just one way.

Finally, thanks to Iv, whose VIP passes motivated Heej and I to play hooky. Oh, the delicious irony of teachers skipping out of work early to play during exams week.


Oh, and last thought: it mattered that we were physically acting like children. Our minds and bodies work together. I don't think I would have come to these realizations if I hadn't actually been playing. It's just like how the act of going to church on Sunday actually matters. God is not legalistic, but he did make us "whole," that is, with both our minds as well as our physical bodies and they work together. The Cartesian mind-body split diverts us from God's design.

Love language

Gift from a friend. I'm not sure I will use it because I might break it.

But it reminds me of the friendships that have developed over the last four years or so, and how these women have spurred me on toward love and good deeds.

aha

Lesson learned: people are often inspired to share their stories as a response to vulnerability.

Tiffin carrier

My aunt gave me a tiffin carrier for Chinese New Year. It should help reduce some of my waste when I get takeouts. However, I must remember to not get the "spicy shredded pork Peking style." I'm not sure it's Peking style at all and it's more sweet than spicy. Yuck.