Life and other thoughts

Yesterday, I had a chat with one of the elders at my church about calling, vocation, and career. He asked me a few simple questions that I found I couldn't answer.

But more importantly, that conversation crystallized something that I've been learning in recent months. I have recently been convicted that I know "about" God, but I don't know God.

It is very hard to detect the difference between the two. But once I noticed it, I can say that for most of the last 20 years (or even more!), I have thought about God a lot but I spent very little with God. I have to confess that I don't know God. I only know about God.

I am learning that thinking about God is very different from really sitting with God and letting God step into my life. Thinking about God is easy. Letting God step into my life is not.

I am impatient, and bringing my emotions to God is not easy because I want a fast answer. Instead, God tells me, "I just want to be with you first." Often, the answers come later. Sometimes, much much later. So I become impatient, and my mind takes control: "Okay, what is the solution?? How do I solve this??" and sometimes, I make my control "holy" by asking: "Okay, is this the holier way to do x, y, z? If it is not against the Bible it's okay!"

This doesn't mean that it is wrong to think. I'm saying that all my thinking and all my problem-solving....they are ways to take control of my own life. They are ways for me to avoid God.

The elder of my church modeled a different way. Yes, we can analyze and think, but we do it with God, and we let God take control of the conclusion. Ultimately, the results are not so important because if God is with us, there is nothing to fear.

What we need to focus on is partnering with God through prayer.

Germany will be an interesting time. I'll be working hard on the upcoming projects and traveling most weekends, but since I don't have much of a social network there, I'll have a lot of time to pray, seek God, and ask myself the simple questions the elder of my church asked me.

13 months?

Every time I think back on what I've experienced in the last year or so, I am filled with amazement at what God's done. So much has happened that have been beyond my control or even my imagination.

God works in His own time and in His own way. Often we don't see what's going on until God brings us or them into the picture, and then we see a glimpse of His work. What is His work? Healing. Reconciliation. Freedom. Love. Patience. Kindness. Goodness. Forgiveness. None of these things can happen by our own efforts. God knows I've tried.

What is my response? For now, it is to wait. Be still. But be present. And watch what God will do.

Amen, amen, and yes, and amen.

(From Carmen) God is seldom early but He is never late

Old friends

I feel so encouraged by the work he's doing in Malaysia. His calling and vision are different from mine,  but we worship the same God. So good to fellowship with the body of Christ in different ministries and locations.

My new prayer, "Holy Spirit, please do for me what I cannot do for myself."


Oldie but goodie:

??

Me: I'm going to be gone for more than 3 months. I need a cut that I can grow out because I don't know if I can find a good hairdresser there.

My hairdresser: Sure. No layers! You can grow it out for 3 months.

But after the hour, I look in the mirror, and I have the same cut I had before. I love it because my hairdresser thins out my mop of hair so my head feels lighter and cleaner.

But to my own eyes, I look exactly like I did before....

Why we worship

This is good stuff on anxiety, worry, and worship. Clips taken from this talk on YouTube. And we also need people who give us grace by letting us say to them over and over again, on different days, "Wow, I'm not okay." "I know I should be okay because of what Christ has done for me on the Cross, but right now, I just don't feel okay."

And the best response to something like that is, "Yeah, it's so hard. It really sucks."

Or, "Okay. Alright."

Or, "I know."

Or, "I'm here."

Do we need to wake God up?

Erwin McManus sermon on the wind and the waves. The God who created the storm knows when we are in the storm. Why do we think that He doesn't know or doesn't care?

This pastor yells a lot sometimes, but he has good insights.

And follow up with this about spiritual maturity:

What is our purpose?

To love God.

To be loved by God.

To rest in Him.

To love His people.

Fave thing to do in LA

Farmer's market.

Just love being able to be outside.

But you, Lord, are a shield around me, my glory, the One who lifts my head high. - Psalm 3:3
http://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Psalm3:3&version=NIV

Thresholds

As Mar says, we are at thresholds. Times of change, restlessness, hope, and growth.

We need to finish old projects first. So it's also a time of waiting, patience, and also of revelation.

Ezcema that curse

Someone recommended neem oil for the itch. It smells like a sewer full of rotten garlic.

Sixth day of oral steroids anyway. But maybe tonight I can skip the antihistamines....

People have friends and I have friends

-_-

Ramping Up

The next six weeks will go at a dizzying pace as I juggle professional and personal projects before leaving for the summer. I think something will eventually fall out of its rightful orbit, but that will just have to be fine.

oops

Just saw a couple of my colleagues--who are married to each other--and one of them fell down a flight of stairs in Japan and was limping on crutches. Apparently she may need surgery on her right meniscus, and I immediately said without thinking, "The meniscus? Oh, that's the WORST!"

And behind her back, her husband kept signalling for me to not say anymore. We were all laughing of course, but she's pretty upset and I for sure know how much even a sprained knee hurts (my meniscus was clipped during the sprain), so a knee that needs surgery means that she's probably still on painkillers now a week after the accident.

Be careful....

Never gets old

God comes to us

My friend's notes

Good reference!

summary of a summary?

So much has been going on....can't write about everything. But I'm learning so much spiritually! I feel as if I'm experiencing God like I've never had before.

I'm still so fallen, and I am so aware of my strongholds.

But I'm also so aware of how God is so much bigger than all of that.

He is so amazing.

This morning, I feel as if I can hear Aslan’s voice saying to us over and over again, “Upward and inward! Upward and inward!” God can’t wait to show us what He has prepared for us. Heaven going to be so much more than we can ever imagine.

But this world....walking with God in this world....can be pretty amazing too.

Campus life

Lotus at the Sun Yat Sen pond

I think this describes how I experienced the past twelve months:

Luke 12

29-32 “What I’m trying to do here is get you to relax, not be so preoccupied with getting so you can respond to God’s giving. People who don’t know God and the way he works fuss over these things, but you know both God and how he works. Steep yourself in God-reality, God-initiative, God-provisions. You’ll find all your everyday human concerns will be met. Don’t be afraid of missing out. You’re my dearest friends! The Father wants to give you the very kingdom itself.

Grandmother stories

Aunt: Need to call for uber to go shopping because I don't have a car here.

Grandma: Taiping no uber.

Aunt: How you know?

Grandma: I know lah.

Folks, my 86-year old grandma.

~~~

Last uncle: Who bought that beanbag?

Grandma: Your third brother. When it was in fashion, he didn't want to buy. When not in fashion then only he buy.

*micdrop

~~~

Me: I thought you were driving back tonight? So late already still not yet leave ah?

Last uncle: Relaxxxxxx...... what's the rush? Chinese New Year is about relaxing and taking your time. And spending time with Ah Mah. What lah you.

..... a few seconds later....

Grandma to last uncle: Why are you still here? Aren't you supposed to leave?? It's so late already.

Me and fifth uncle laughed so hard, last uncle's daughter asked for a translation.

~~~

Grandma: Do you want Milo?

Me: No, it's okay.

Grandma: There's no sugar.

She's so perceptive it's amazing. I don't know the hokkien translation for "lactose pills" which I forgot to pack so I didn't explain why I don't drink Milo. (But, yes, mainly because of the high sugar content.)

What cats do when we're not looking

First viewing of a bendi plant. Cool.

#apw