more travel, more excitement!

Alright, I must confess that I'm very excited about leaving tomorrow for my trip, mostly because I will be in two countries I've never been in, and I will be going back to one of my favorite cities--Paris! I'll be seeing a lot of old friends at the conference in Paris, and we have many food outings all planned out. I won't have time to do much sight-seeing this time. I'm a little worried about security in Moscow, especially because I have to take a cab from the airport to my hotel in the middle of the night. I'll be spending a lot of time in the air too but I suppose that's par for the course. I predict I'll be very glad to be back in HK after my trip!!

rainbow

This is the first and only rainbow I've seen in HK. I also happened to catch sight of it when I was grumbling to God about how his daughters have such a hard time in this world.

brief, random conversation

I talked briefly with a good friend here about a strange relationship she currently has with an older guy. Basically, she wants a relationship but he just wants sex, and to me that's strange. Like in the movies. Then we talked a bit about marriage, and she said that people only marry if they want kids, and 8 out of 10 spouses cheat on each other. And she thinks that's a conservative estimate. Couples stay together for their kids, and if you don't want kids, then why marry?

That's a sad view of the world, but I didn't say anything. It did however, remind me of a very recent story I heard about an acquaintance, who is a friend of a friend from church. The woman is gorgeous, the husband is handsome, and they are both so in love even after two kids. The husband becomes involved with a woman at work whom he drops the minute the wife finds out about the affair because he doesn't love this other woman. But it's too late because the wife is so hurt she decides she can't trust him after all. Yes, this is a Christian couple. Why would the husband risk his family--whom he clearly loves and still loves very much--for this dalliance? And the poor, poor wife. She's intelligent, nice, sweet, and beautiful. What did she do wrong? Moral of the story? Don't marry an attractive man even if he is Christian. Hahaha....

The world is a crazy, complicated, very scary place.

tony blair

Went to a lecture and Q+A session with Tony Blair yesterday. Disagree with him and Bush about the war, but it was interesting to listen to Blair speak. My boss was responsible for bringing Blair's faith foundation to HKU (they signed the MoU yesterday). Boss probably made himself incredibly unpopular with the rest of the Faculty of Arts.

half the battle won

Figured out that my new shoes were the problem. I started wearing them the same day I played my first badminton game and I finally figured out a week later that the shoes were responsible for the pain I was feeling in my ankles, knees, and iliotibial band. I don't have arch support in my left shoe and I make sure I have plenty of arch support in my right shoe. My ankle is still tight now but otherwise, my right leg feels pretty great. Played badminton yesterday and I did better than I could imagine. There is no pain anywhere this morning too!

My only trouble now is with my shoulder. My friend says I'm tensing up too much and too early when I lift my arm. I didn't even tell him my shoulder was hurting, but when he hit with me, he noticed the problem with my form. It will be extremely difficult to change this habit though because I have a complex about how hard I can hit. I really hope I make a breakthrough though because now my legs are doing great on court!

busy again

Someone I know from UCLA is in town this week, so I'm hanging out with her and her husband as this is their first time in HK. Next week, another friend-teacher from Cornell will be in town, so I'll be hanging out with her next week. Originally the second friend was supposed to come the week after, and had to change her travel dates at the last minute, so I ended up canceling a dinner with one of my friends here last Sunday, and another dinner with friend N this week (both sets of US friends changed plans around at the last minute, not my fault!). Friend N wrote in her email, "if you're my boyfriend, i think i'd break up with you." I wrote back, "yeah, i'm glad i'm no one's boyfriend!"

breaking news

Before my knee injury, I never would have imagined quitting badminton. When I started my treatment, not being able to play was depressing and I did not know what to do with myself. Now, I am even thinking of quitting altogether. Why put my body through that kind of pain again? Why go through the slow rehabilitation when I don't even know how well I can eventually play? To what end?

Yes, I can't believe these thoughts are even running through my head.

----

Update


But I'm going to try again anyway. Badminton this Sunday evening.

survey

If you have two minutes, please help my friend out in her research project! She will be sending out surveys to companies in China on their hiring practices. This particular survey is on what counts as "attractive." It's a quick survey and you get to rank photos of people based on their attractiveness. Your ethnicity, age, and location won't matter. Thanks!

Take the survey here.

okay, fine

Last night, I tried some of the exercises from this website on sports injury rehabilitation, and my body seems to be responding well. Some of the exercises are boring, but some of them are very, very good. "The Clam" is my favorite.

reflections on the alternative treatment

There are days when I think my alternative doctor is a charlatan, and there are days when I think he is a genius. I usually think he's a charlatan when I start exercising and certain muscles get sore or tight. And I usually think he is a genius when I follow his orders to cease and desist from exercise.

My body feels so much looser, relaxed, and just plain good now. I can't help but want to go out there and swim, run, or play! But my therapists (the doctor and his assistants/students) keep telling me, don't do that or you're going to hurt again! I guess they're right, but didn't I get this treatment so that I can exercise? Isn't exercise the goal?? (Being able to exercise might be my goal, but I don't think it's theirs, haha!)

My experience has been very good, but also frustrating because my Cantonese really isn't that good, and their English isn't very good either. I can't obey orders if I don't know why they're giving them! Okay, fine, I now understand that if I exercise now, I'll start to hurt. But how long do I have to wait? What can I do to speed up the healing process?? Yesterday, after my shoulders and jaw started to get tight again because I went swimming this past weekend, one of the assistants said, "Think about it this way. We're doing our best to help your body regenerate, especially in the area of your neck, but you are using your neck more than it can regenerate itself so that's why it started to hurt again." I don't quite understand what it is exactly that needs regenerating, but I suppose there is some kind of logic there even if I don't understand it. So now I'm not allowed to swim until my neck gets stronger.

Doesn't all this seem counter-intuitive to Western science that says the more you exercise a muscle, the stronger it gets? This alternative center says that because your body is not aligned and not strong enough yet, exercising those muscles will cause your blood circulation to be blocked and that will then lead to pain/injury.

So, yes, I'm frustrated, but I can't deny that I'm feeling a lot better than I've had in years. I no longer need sleeping aids. I'm breathing more deeply than I ever have. The tightness in my right shoulder is gone. And my knees no longer hurt or feel stiff when I go up and down stairs.

But this whole process requires patience that I don't quite have.

Coaster no. 5

My alternative treatment center put me on a very strict, temporary, diet of only grains (I opted for red rice), veggies, lean meat and fish. I no longer need to stay on this diet, but when I broke it by eating a McD's McChicken meal (not the smartest choice) and then a Vietnamese sandwich (made with a baguette), I felt awful. So I've decided to keep a mostly gluten-free diet. I'll break it occasionally but as much as I can, I'll stick to the diet.

I made these gluten-free muffins this afternoon. I haven't tasted them yet, but they do smell good!

childhood favorite

Chrysanthemum, red dates, and goji berry agar-agar.

light at the end of the tunnel

Last Thurs, my alt doc told me I could try light exercise, but there's a chance that I would feel pain again. I had a busy weekend, so I didn't get to go to the gym on Monday, and I guess the doc will tell me this Thurs if I'm good to go, but so far, I'm feeling good! My knees start to feel tight if I stand for a long time, but they seem to have held up after Monday's light work out on the bike and the mat. Today, I'm going to go for an easy swim.

Also glad that I found this website on stretches! My doc told me that I cannot skip out on stretching, and that I should hold each muscle for at least 2 minutes. This means my warm-up and cool down will take about 30 mins each. Yeap, I'm glad I'm single and don't have kids!!

I got back in touch with a friend I met in one of my earlier clubs, and he says he'll take me to one of his clubs where I'll meet a lot of other good players. Very excited and I can't wait, and I hope I can start working out for real again very soon!!

coasters 3 and 4

phew

I've had another slump. Helped organize Bersih 3 HK for Saturday (it went very well), and after that, went squid fishing with home group (no one caught anything). Cleaned on Sunday, and barely got any work done on Monday. Went to see the Avengers on Tuesday morning (very fun!), then joined home group for card games. I planned to stay only about an hour an a half or so, but it was about 11pm by the time we ended the games. I laughed so much I thought I was going to feel sick. All this has been fun but I'm feeling tired now--it's the side effects of my alternative treatment. I'm supposed to take it easy and every time I pack my schedule with activities, I end up feeling fatigued. Feeling better in general but my back and shoulder still need work.

face turned to the sun

second coaster of the series

the gift of time

I woke up at 6:21am this morning. This hasn't been so unusual since I started using the "brainwave tuner" app before bed. My alternative doc recommended it--he knew I had insomnia even w/o my saying anything about it--and they lent me a magnet contraption that channels the brainwaves to my head. (Yes, you can just listen to it on your tablet/phone, but you need to listen to it for at least 30 minutes.) I've been falling asleep without melatonin since I started using this app! And, I sometimes wake up about an hour before my alarm rings.

Anyway, the point of the story is that I had time to take a leisurely shower and then sat on my couch and listened to my youtube playlist before heading to work. I feel terrible for not hurrying, and for not using every extra minute I gained by waking up at 6:21am. Why is it so hard for me to enjoy the gift of time? Today is the last day of class, and I don't have a whole lot of prep work to do, so why hurry hurry hurry? Moreover, I'm a little sick and tired of the academic year now. I really want a break.

All my friends are also sick and tired of teaching. Students don't care, and here in HK, you can't even downgrade them for missing classes, and the majority of students only care about their grade, not knowledge. I want a bit of time away from all this. Well, classes end tomorrow, and then students have some time to work on their finals. I'll have a lot of grading to do in May, and then I can say goodbye to this part of my work for the summer. I can't wait, I really can't wait. And I'm pretty sure I'll need alcohol to get through the grading.

This turned into a rant. But originally, I wanted it to be an observation about how guilty I feel when I'm not rushing about. I'd like to feel energetic, but also relaxed. I'm usually either energetic and stressed, or tired and slow and stressed. I'd like to be full of get up and go, but I'd also like to be fully aware that our God is the Author of Time. He has not only designed me to work, but also given me the right amount of time to get that work done.

what to do what to do

Saturday April 21, 2012
Ordering Our Desires

Desire is often talked about as something we ought to overcome. Still, being is
desiring: our bodies, our minds, our hearts, and our souls are full of desires.
Some are unruly, turbulent, and very distracting; some make us think deep thoughts and see great visions; some teach us how to love; and some keep us searching for God. Our desire for God is the desire that should guide all other desires. Otherwise our bodies, minds, hearts, and souls become one another's enemies and our inner lives become chaotic, leading us to despair and self-destruction. Spiritual disciplines are not ways to eradicate all our desires but ways to order them so that they can serve one another and together serve God.

- Henri J. M. Nouwen

???

I'm glad I don't have to see anyone today. I feel like I've become an even more horrible person. I feel like strangling my TA because of a suggestion he made. I won't reply until tomorrow so that I won't send him a WTF email. I like being able to sequester myself, especially on rainy days and on days when I have awful thoughts in my head. But boy, I hope I become a better person, and soon.

Update

This irritability may be due to the moratorium on exercise (knees are fine now, but doc wants to get through problems in my back and neck), but if I'm still this irritable even after I get to work out again, I think I need a therapist.

cool coasters

My church is starting a sermon series on working out our faith, and they're giving away one coaster with a Bible verse on it every week of the sermon series. I love how creative they are!

ouch

I sliced my finger open while struggling with the packaging of the set of magnets I bought in Osaka.

Arima, Osaka, Kyoto

I had a wonderful time in Japan! The conference also went well, but I'm still recovering from the trip. So much to see and so little time. More pictures and stories in my web album.

Trip to Japan

It was amazing. Travel keeps me humble. Hope to post stories soon before I forget them! For now, back to writing class lectures. Oh, I'm so tired.

-----

Henri Nouwen
Friday April 6, 2012

Being Humble and Confident

As we look at the stars and let our minds wander into the many galaxies, we come to feel so small and insignificant that anything we do, say, or think seems completely useless. But if we look into our souls and let our minds wander into the endless galaxies of our interior lives, we become so tall and significant that everything we do, say, or think appears of great importance.

We have to keep looking both ways to remain humble and confident, humorous and serious, playful and responsible. Yes, the human person is very small and very tall. It is the tension between the two that keeps us spiritually awake.

Easter Week

Will be leaving on a trip today, and hoping that typhoons at my destination will not force me to land in a different city! Looking forward to some R&R away from home, even if I will have to work too--it's mostly a business trip. And very much looking forward to good food!

I wonder if I'm feeling low because we're entering the last few weeks of class. Last year, classes were over by Easter Week. This year, we have at least three more weeks of class. I don't know how that happened. I'll feel a lot better once I can start exercising again. Too much TV is not good for me. I can't complain too much since this year is looking like a good year. I've seen old friends, and I've made new ones too. Unfortunately, I feel like I've also lost a couple of old friends.

A part of me thinks, well, you can just write to them and get back in touch! But another part of me thinks, well, they don't seem particularly excited about being in relationship with you, so why bother? I don't know what to do. But I am very thankful for the friends who do make the time to write or drop me a note on FB. I know we're all busy and I don't have to hear from everyone on a regular basis. It's just nice to hear from them every now and again.

must do this.....

Earl Palmer's sermon on faith and doubt is really important for someone like me who likes to think a problem through, but who doesn't dare to stop thinking and start acting. I must start acting more!

voiceless

I'm glad to finally have a resolution to my work situation, and I'm so thankful that it's turned out pretty well! To celebrate, I'd really like to get this masticating juicer so I can add more fruits and veggies to my diet. My immune system sucks. I caught ANOTHER cold, and not only have I lost my voice, it has triggered my airway allergies again. The air purifier does a good job of cleaning the air in my bedroom so I rarely cough when I'm home, but my doctor says that I need allergy meds if I want to get over these symptoms faster. So I'm taking more meds.

Now, my alternative treatment center would say, heck, no, your body should be able to fight this on its own. I had the good fortune of working with a mostly English-speaking therapist on Thurs evening, and she explained that my "complementary treatments" (CT) are supposed to help loosen up my blood vessels, large and small, to detoxify my body. Of course, in their eyes, Western pills can also carry toxins. I love the work they're doing on my body--I hardly ever think about my knees now. But I think I'm going to take these pills until they've gotten my body to a stable state.

Another time, I'll post more thoughts on lessons learned during this season. But the big takeaway discovery I can think of right now is how fearful I am of God. (Yeap.)

------

Update


To be fair, I think I know what to do next. I hope I can do what I know I should do once my body is healthier, and after I meet my most pressing deadlines!

lively night life

I dreamed last night that I was at dragon boat practice, and we were stretching. Then I woke up and realized it was a dream, but fell back asleep and said to myself, "That's okay, keep stretching as you sleep so that you'll recover more quickly!" Of course, my impression is that I kept stretching in my sleep for a long time after that.....

knees

I just emailed a friend to cancel on a baddy session next Tuesday. That's how much my knees are still hurting. I really could barely run today and I felt like my partners were frustrated with me. A friend from church has seen a "tiht dah" and she said he really works, so I think I'll try him out.

There are still many blessings in my life, but this really stinks right now.