another weekend

Okay, maybe I was exaggerating a little in the last post . . . I have a pretty sweet life.

But I'm also exhausted.

hmm . . .

I use the phrase "SO much fun" a lot in this blog.

And I don't know if it's because the fun things I get to do really are that much fun, or if the rest of my life is so miserable that the regular, pleasurable parts of "normal" people's lives are events that send me into throes of ecstasy precisely because they are so infrequent and unusual.

I prefer to think it's the former.
I need to think it's the former.

oops, forgot this story

This conversation took place as H-nok and I left Libe Slope to walk back to our dorm:

Me: Traying was SO much fun! This is what Ithaca is good for! And we should do it before we're too old to do this kind of thing anymore, you know.

H: Uhm, no, we're already too old for this.

Me: That's okay, no one can tell. We're too bundled up.

see-saw

I feel like I live on a see-saw.

I feel like quitting! Writing a dissertation is too difficult. Every time I have to start over again, it's just as difficult as it was the last time. Maybe it's more difficult because my body and mind just wants to stay relaxed.

good day!

We got about 2 feet of snow in one day! That is what a Northeastern winter should look like!! Snow by the foot, not by the inch!

Afternoon classes were canceled because it was too dangerous for staff/faculty to drive in. After dinner, a bunch of us from our dorm grabbed trays and went up to the Library Slope (pretty steep!) to slide down the hill. H-nok and I stayed on the least steep student-made "slide" (basically the part where the ice is all packed down from everyone traying on it) while the others went on the steeper sections of the hill. It was very, very fun!!!

After that, we spent some time digging H-nok's car out of the snow. That was not so much fun, but still.

Also met with friends Jade and Susan in the afternoon, and they gave me feedback on the first draft. It was REALLY helpful, and I think I have a sense of how I want to work on the revisions now. Yay!

more procrastination in light of my MAJOR march 1 deadline

this is what I see when I look at my laptop screen . . .

best pork chops EVER

Our new weekend cook subbed for lunch today, and he made the BEST pork chops I've had during my entire 9 years in the US. No kidding. EVER!!

I have to work extra hard at tonight's badminton practice to work off all that pork I inhaled.

winter

Btw, the weather on the right doesn't take into account wind chill!!!

It's crazy cold over here!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

cool site

hey, great site for uploading/downloading/sending LARGE files!!!

http://www.sendspace.com/invite/etoemw

turned it in!

Good news: yesterday, I turned in the first (very rough) draft of the first chapter of my dissertation!

Bad news: I'm kinda feeling down in the dumps right now, and I don't know why. It has NOTHING to do with having finished the first draft because I have a ton of other work I can do for the dissertation.

. . . and it has nothing to do with monthly cycles either . . . there's absolutely nothing wrong in my life that I can think of. :) Ah well.

Okay, I should explain the elections and what was on my mind last week (besides badminton). Part of the terms of our scholarship at the dorm, T-ride, is that we work on committees to run the house. The Advisory Commitee (Adcom) is made up of 3 members elected by the House, and they assign everyone else to committees (such as House and Grounds, Employee Coordination, Outreach, Academic Affairs, Social Events, Computing, etc.).

Basically, in the past AdCom has wielded a lot of power because they aslo mediate at times of crisis and conflict. This semester, a few of us got together and drafted a legislation that would create a separate committee that would take over all kinds of mediation, and who will be the people we call on if there are cases of sexual or other kinds of harassment.

Okay, explaining everything is going to take too long. I'll just aim for semi-comprehension from here on.

Basically, I got elected to AdCom, and K-gan was made First Ad i.e. House President. This is a pretty big deal (and I won't go into why exactly that's the case), especially since K-gan and I are part of the same--rather large--faction in the house. :)

At this point, I can't even remember why I wanted to blog about this in the first place. There was a reason, but I can't remember now.

A few days into the job, and I'm already learning a TON about being a leader of sorts in a small community of VERY smart, VERY accomplished, and VERY ambitious group of people. I have a feeling that I'm going to have an interesting semester.

random question

So . . . I can't really figure this out, and I don't think anyone can give me a hard and fast answer either, but I'm going to ask it anyway just to see how people respond. :) :)

You see, I have many friends who don't share my faith, and a good number of them are guys because I believe that men and women can have platonic relationships and if I weren't "allowed" to have guy friends, my life would be infinitely poorer. But of course, maintaining a platonic r/ship sometimes takes work . . . but so do my friendships with girls! All r/ships take work, basically.

I'm being long-winded only because I am anticipating in my mind some of the responses of the people I know (if they are indeed reading this blog!). Anyway. :):)

My question is, how do I react to male friends who fwd risque jokes to me? I don't want to make the generalization that men tend to gravitate toward more vulgar humor, but well . . . my women friends don't do that!!

I guess I'm not offended when I receive those emails, but it does make me want to keep more of a distance. :) And usually I just don't respond to the emails. But then again, most ppl don't respond to fwded jokes even when they enjoy them, so . . .

p.s - I really want to get a post out on the dorm elections and everything, but I'm afraid it'll take too much time. For the record, I'm writing page 26 now of that first chapter!! I want to finish it by tomorrow, and hopefully, I'll have about 28 pages (not inclusive of bibliography and endnotes).

back from CT

The CT Open was so much fun!! In the mixed doubles, Alan and I won the first round easily, but came up against the eventual champions in the second round, haha. We still had a lot of fun playing Andy (whom we are friends with because we brought him up to Cornell for a coaching clinic last year) and his partner (a squash coach at Mt Holyoke). Scores were 21-9, 21-11, which I think were decent given that Andy was/is a pro player and Silvi was a pro in squash.

In the doubles, we got second in the consolation rounds (we were knocked right out of the main draw). Maybe if we had practiced together we'd have won. But we did fine and I definitely had a lot of fun.

I know though that because I'm not used to playing in tournaments, I still get horribly jittery and nervous and usually don't know what exactly I'm doing on court.

My head now really hurts, and I can't decide if I'm fatigued from the 6-hr drive last night, or from learning so much by watching/playing at the tournament. Playing competitive sports makes your brain work differently. :) I have a great deal of respect for players who take their games seriously.

No snow/ice/rain on the drives back and forth, so it was a pretty uneventful, if long, journey.

Much work to do now, sigh. I feel like my mind isn't working.

Also, more to report on re elections for leadership in the dorm. (I got voted in for one of the main leadership committees, but there's a story for that. It does mean more work.)

snow outside the window

this post isn't really about snow, but I just happened to glance out the window, and it's snowing pretty heavily! Doesn't look like it'll stick though. Looks more like lake-effect snow than the real deal.

Well, I'm driving down to Connecticut tomorrow evening for some badminton matches on Saturday. The Connecticut Open is Sat-Sun, but I suspect all of us will lose by Saturday evening. :):) It'll be nice to drive back early Sunday morning though, because we have elections in my dorm on Sun afternoon and I can't vote if I'm not present at the meeting.

I'm playing mixed-doubles with one of our freshman guys whom I'm not really used to playing with so even though he's a strong singles player, I don't expect much from our combination. Then I'm playing women's doubles with someone from New York City. I've seen her play before, but we've never played as partners! Plus, I'm still trying to get over this stinking cold!!!

Well, my partners are pretty relaxed, so we'll just try to have fun at the tournament this weekend. I'm pretty excited!

Oh, and I'm also excited that I've actually managed to get a goodly amount of writing done this past week so I won't feel at all guilty this weekend when I'm playing and hanging out with other badminton nutters!

more drugs

Despite drowning myself in chicken soup, throwing back echinacea and vitamin C pills, the inevitable cold became, well, inevitable. Fortunately, a friend recommended Zicam, and it's a MIRACLE drug!!

Yesterday, my nose started getting a teeny bit congested, and my throat had the faint beginnings of scratchiness so I started using the nasal gel, and usually by today I'm prostrate in bed coughing my lungs out. But now, I think I may actually get back to work on my dissertation!

I'm still taking it easy and skipping badminton/work-out sessions, but the fact that I can actually walk around or sit at my desk . . . it's a MIRACLE! I'm really psyched about this because I have to go down to Connecticut this weekend for a badminton tournament, and if I spend the entire week sniffling, coughing, and sleeping, I'd be no better than a rubber doll on court. And my doubles and mixed-doubles partners will kill me.

I should warn you though, that some people have experienced adverse reactions to Zicam and have lost their sense of smell, but I suspect it's because they didn't use the product carefully enough. So if you're planning on trying out Zicam (and you should!), read the instructions VERY VERY CAREFULLY.

moving around

At T-House, most people change rooms every semester. We usually share a room, although there are sometimes 2 rooms used for singles, and singles are assigned based on seniority (i.e. if you've been here 3-4 years, you're likely to get a single one of the semesters). The shuffle also helps because not everyone gets a long with their roommates, and some rooms are bigger than others.

So I spent most of yesterday moving my things into my new room (just one door down, thankfully), and it took long because I had to move my friend's things out of her room before I could move my things in (she's not back yet). Anyway, I like the change because my new room is bigger, and I like my new roommate MUCH better than my last one. My old roommate was actually Person X, so those of you followed the saga know how much I enjoyed all that.

The only thing is, my new roommate (who is nice and cool and all that) tends to be a little noisier . . . a little more fond of talk, and she needs to use skype to talk to her family. It's no big deal right now, and hopefully we can work things out so I can sit quietly in my room for periods of time.

I'm one of those weird people who *like* and *need* to keep silent for hours on end, especially when I'm not "on duty."

Got it!

Melatonin pills: supports healthy sleep patterns. The body naturally releases melatonin in response to changes in light, with melatonin levels rising at night. Vitamin B6 is essential for melatonin production. It is in this way that melatonin helps promote sleep.

I managed to sleep through most of the night last night!!!

need a few tricks?

this is just too funny . . .

---

Nytimes
June 25, 2006

Modern Love

What Shamu Taught Me About a Happy Marriage

By AMY SUTHERLAND

AS I wash dishes at the kitchen sink, my husband paces behind me, irritated. "Have you seen my keys?" he snarls, then huffs out a loud sigh and stomps from the room with our dog, Dixie, at his heels, anxious over her favorite human's upset.

In the past I would have been right behind Dixie. I would have turned off the faucet and joined the hunt while trying to soothe my husband with bromides like, "Don't worry, they'll turn up." But that only made him angrier, and a simple case of missing keys soon would become a full-blown angst-ridden drama starring the two of us and our poor nervous dog.

Now, I focus on the wet dish in my hands. I don't turn around. I don't say a word. I'm using a technique I learned from a dolphin trainer.

I love my husband. He's well read, adventurous and does a hysterical rendition of a northern Vermont accent that still cracks me up after 12 years of marriage.

But he also tends to be forgetful, and is often tardy and mercurial. He hovers around me in the kitchen asking if I read this or that piece in The New Yorker when I'm trying to concentrate on the simmering pans. He leaves wadded tissues in his wake. He suffers from serious bouts of spousal deafness but never fails to hear me when I mutter to myself on the other side of the house. "What did you say?" he'll shout.

These minor annoyances are not the stuff of separation and divorce, but in sum they began to dull my love for Scott. I wanted — needed — to nudge him a little closer to perfect, to make him into a mate who might annoy me a little less, who wouldn't keep me waiting at restaurants, a mate who would be easier to love.

So, like many wives before me, I ignored a library of advice books and set about improving him. By nagging, of course, which only made his behavior worse: he'd drive faster instead of slower; shave less frequently, not more; and leave his reeking bike garb on the bedroom floor longer than ever.

We went to a counselor to smooth the edges off our marriage. She didn't understand what we were doing there and complimented us repeatedly on how well we communicated. I gave up. I guessed she was right — our union was better than most — and resigned myself to stretches of slow-boil resentment and occasional sarcasm.

Then something magical happened. For a book I was writing about a school for exotic animal trainers, I started commuting from Maine to California, where I spent my days watching students do the seemingly impossible: teaching hyenas to pirouette on command, cougars to offer their paws for a nail clipping, and baboons to skateboard.

I listened, rapt, as professional trainers explained how they taught dolphins to flip and elephants to paint. Eventually it hit me that the same techniques might work on that stubborn but lovable species, the American husband.

The central lesson I learned from exotic animal trainers is that I should reward behavior I like and ignore behavior I don't. After all, you don't get a sea lion to balance a ball on the end of its nose by nagging. The same goes for the American husband.

Back in Maine, I began thanking Scott if he threw one dirty shirt into the hamper. If he threw in two, I'd kiss him. Meanwhile, I would step over any soiled clothes on the floor without one sharp word, though I did sometimes kick them under the bed. But as he basked in my appreciation, the piles became smaller.

I was using what trainers call "approximations," rewarding the small steps toward learning a whole new behavior. You can't expect a baboon to learn to flip on command in one session, just as you can't expect an American husband to begin regularly picking up his dirty socks by praising him once for picking up a single sock. With the baboon you first reward a hop, then a bigger hop, then an even bigger hop. With Scott the husband, I began to praise every small act every time: if he drove just a mile an hour slower, tossed one pair of shorts into the hamper, or was on time for anything.

I also began to analyze my husband the way a trainer considers an exotic animal. Enlightened trainers learn all they can about a species, from anatomy to social structure, to understand how it thinks, what it likes and dislikes, what comes easily to it and what doesn't. For example, an elephant is a herd animal, so it responds to hierarchy. It cannot jump, but can stand on its head. It is a vegetarian.

The exotic animal known as Scott is a loner, but an alpha male. So hierarchy matters, but being in a group doesn't so much. He has the balance of a gymnast, but moves slowly, especially when getting dressed. Skiing comes naturally, but being on time does not. He's an omnivore, and what a trainer would call food-driven.

Once I started thinking this way, I couldn't stop. At the school in California, I'd be scribbling notes on how to walk an emu or have a wolf accept you as a pack member, but I'd be thinking, "I can't wait to try this on Scott."

On a field trip with the students, I listened to a professional trainer describe how he had taught African crested cranes to stop landing on his head and shoulders. He did this by training the leggy birds to land on mats on the ground. This, he explained, is what is called an "incompatible behavior," a simple but brilliant concept.

Rather than teach the cranes to stop landing on him, the trainer taught the birds something else, a behavior that would make the undesirable behavior impossible. The birds couldn't alight on the mats and his head simultaneously.

At home, I came up with incompatible behaviors for Scott to keep him from crowding me while I cooked. To lure him away from the stove, I piled up parsley for him to chop or cheese for him to grate at the other end of the kitchen island. Or I'd set out a bowl of chips and salsa across the room. Soon I'd done it: no more Scott hovering around me while I cooked.

I followed the students to SeaWorld San Diego, where a dolphin trainer introduced me to least reinforcing syndrome (L. R. S.). When a dolphin does something wrong, the trainer doesn't respond in any way. He stands still for a few beats, careful not to look at the dolphin, and then returns to work. The idea is that any response, positive or negative, fuels a behavior. If a behavior provokes no response, it typically dies away.

In the margins of my notes I wrote, "Try on Scott!"

It was only a matter of time before he was again tearing around the house searching for his keys, at which point I said nothing and kept at what I was doing. It took a lot of discipline to maintain my calm, but results were immediate and stunning. His temper fell far shy of its usual pitch and then waned like a fast-moving storm. I felt as if I should throw him a mackerel.

Now he's at it again; I hear him banging a closet door shut, rustling through papers on a chest in the front hall and thumping upstairs. At the sink, I hold steady. Then, sure enough, all goes quiet. A moment later, he walks into the kitchen, keys in hand, and says calmly, "Found them."

Without turning, I call out, "Great, see you later."

Off he goes with our much-calmed pup.

After two years of exotic animal training, my marriage is far smoother, my husband much easier to love. I used to take his faults personally; his dirty clothes on the floor were an affront, a symbol of how he didn't care enough about me. But thinking of my husband as an exotic species gave me the distance I needed to consider our differences more objectively.

I adopted the trainers' motto: "It's never the animal's fault." When my training attempts failed, I didn't blame Scott. Rather, I brainstormed new strategies, thought up more incompatible behaviors and used smaller approximations. I dissected my own behavior, considered how my actions might inadvertently fuel his. I also accepted that some behaviors were too entrenched, too instinctive to train away. You can't stop a badger from digging, and you can't stop my husband from losing his wallet and keys.

PROFESSIONALS talk of animals that understand training so well they eventually use it back on the trainer. My animal did the same. When the training techniques worked so beautifully, I couldn't resist telling my husband what I was up to. He wasn't offended, just amused. As I explained the techniques and terminology, he soaked it up. Far more than I realized.

Last fall, firmly in middle age, I learned that I needed braces. They were not only humiliating, but also excruciating. For weeks my gums, teeth, jaw and sinuses throbbed. I complained frequently and loudly. Scott assured me that I would become used to all the metal in my mouth. I did not.

One morning, as I launched into yet another tirade about how uncomfortable I was, Scott just looked at me blankly. He didn't say a word or acknowledge my rant in any way, not even with a nod.

I quickly ran out of steam and started to walk away. Then I realized what was happening, and I turned and asked, "Are you giving me an L. R. S.?" Silence. "You are, aren't you?"

He finally smiled, but his L. R. S. has already done the trick. He'd begun to train me, the American wife.

Amy Sutherland is the author of "Kicked, Bitten and Scratched: Life and Lessons at the Premier School for Exotic Animal Trainers" (Viking, June 2006). She lives in Boston and in Portland, Me.

jet lag sucks

I feel sick. Someone needs to figure out a way to make the trip go faster. Someone needs to find a cure for jet-lag.

Jet-lagged in Ithaca

Got here Sunday, about 4am (EST; Malaysian time: Sun, 5pm) after about 35-hours of car, bus, and plane rides and some waiting about. I'm now serious jet-lagged. Wanted to take a nap at about 11:30am, and ended up waking up only at 7:30pm. Still tired, so I hope I'll get to fall asleep again tonight.

The T-ride branches at Cornell and Michigan have a 3-day seminar (this year's topic is on US-China relations) that I was supposed to be at too, but they set the date a weekend earlier than I expected, and I didn't want to change my plane tickets. Everyone's away at Michigan now and I think I'm the only one in the House. Someone's been into the kitchen though (lights turned on, some plates washed), and I'm hoping the chef is just in doing minor prep work. Hmmmm. I'm a little scared, but not terribly so. Everything in the House, and in Ithaca, is really quiet now, and I like quiet.:)

The trip was pretty good. I got to have 5-seats to myself on the leg from Stockholm to Newark, and managed to sleep for about 4 hours, I think. That really helped. Had a bit of stomach problems right before I boarded the plane in Malaysia, and as I had had the same problems off and on during my 5 weeks there, I was a little panicky.

Decided to try a little red wine when the attendants gave us our dinner (soon enough after take-off) , and was relieved that it helped unclench my stomach muscles. It started working after a few sips and I was so, so thankful. Otherwise, I'd have sat there for hours feeling awful. A little red wine does indeed settle the stomach.:):)

Now, I need to find something to settle the homesickness. It's not a horrible case, just a little one. But I'm definitely thinking that going home for good soon may not be such a bad idea after all. All this flying back and forth between two lives is rich and I learn so much; but it really isn't at all easy.

tech blur

had to switch over, out of beta, and changed my template too, but don't think it works.

next week

Umm. Leaving next Sat. Aaahhh. Yucks.

Not again.

Wish I have two bodies, so I can live two lives in two places, all at the same time.

disrupted internet service

The earthquake in Taiwan a few days ago disrupted undersea cables, so internet service has been spotty. I can't seem to access my Cornell webmail account, but this blog and facebook works. Go figure. All my email addresses are in webmail though, and I kinda use it as an address/diary, so it'll be nice to have that back. Still, at least my house isn't in rubbles or flooded with brown, dirty water, so I'm thankful enough.

Being home is always difficult sometimes, but there are also fun parts. A lot of my friends are having babies (eepp!) so it's fun to be carrying them (until they cry and need to be changed or fed), and it's always nice to catch up with old friends and find out how they've been doing.

I know that my current life isn't here though . . . :) Missing my T-ride house pals, but not the drama. Need to get back to staring at the screen with my dissertation files opened . . .

But also enjoying the slow pace, the TV, the hanging out, and of course the food . . .


Anyways. :) Life can be complicated, but good.

Piled Higher and Deeper . . .

This is so true, it's not even funny.

not so new beginnings?

I'm not sure I'm completely convinced that our calendars are the best ways to mark the passage of time. January 1 seems to be a pretty arbitrary date, and there's no real reason why it should mark a "new" year, or a new beginning.

And anyway, when you're stuck in the American academic calendar, seasons and cycles are really quite different from the rest of the sane world . . .

But I suppose it prompts us to stop for a moment and take stock of what we're doing and what we hope to do. I'm still stuck in grad school, so it always seems like all I want is to move onward with the dissertation . . . onward to the point of completion. :)

There has to be life beyond grad school, there simply has to be!

not much to blog about

Conference was last week, and I'm still recovering from having to sit in an auditorium for day-long sessions, 4 days in a row. Bleh!! Good networking opportunity, I suppose.

Tummy feeling funny these past few days. A bit of the runs and a little nausea, and now I'm a little afraid to eat so drinking mom's soup for dinner.

Friend gave birth, and needs some babysitting help with her first child (almost 3 years old), so I think I'm going to take Ethan swimming tonight because his dad has to be in church this evening for an event. I get along quite well with Ethan, so I don't think it'll be too much trouble. :) He keeps me on my toes.

Didn't bring my camera back with me so no pictures. Maybe I'll borrow my mom's camera.

home!

Back in Malaysia! Good flight, but now I have a crick in my neck, and am very, very tired. Good to be home though.

Esp since sh*t has apparently hit the fan AGAIN in T-house. I'm glad I'm not there, but I hope my friends are surviving.

Michael Moore's letter

Wednesday, November 29th, 2006
Cut and Run, the Only Brave Thing to Do ...a letter from
Michael Moore

Friends,

Monday marked the day that we had been in Iraq longer than we were in
all of World War II.

That's right. We were able to defeat all of Nazi Germany, Mussolini,
and the entire Japanese empire in LESS time than it's taken the
world's only superpower to secure the road from the airport to
downtown Baghdad.

And we haven't even done THAT. After 1,347 days, in the same
time it took us to took us to sweep across North Africa, storm the
beaches of Italy, conquer the South Pacific, and liberate all of Western
Europe, we cannot, after over 3 and 1/2 years, even take over a single
highway and protect ourselves from a homemade device of two tin cans
placed in a pothole. No wonder the cab fare from the airport into Baghdad
is now running around $35,000 for the 25-minute ride. And that doesn't
even include a friggin' helmet.

Is this utter failure the fault of our troops? Hardly. That's because
no amount of troops or choppers or democracy shot out of the barrel of
a gun is ever going to "win" the war in Iraq. It is a lost war, lost
because it never had a right to be won, lost because it was started by
men who have never been to war, men who hide behind others sent to
fight and die.

Let's listen to what the Iraqi people are saying, according to a
recent poll conducted by the University of Maryland:

** 71% of all Iraqis now want the U.S. out of Iraq.

** 61% of all Iraqis SUPPORT insurgent attacks on U.S. troops.

Yes, the vast majority of Iraqi citizens believe that our soldiers
should be killed and maimed! So what the hell are we still doing
there? Talk about not getting the hint.

There are many ways to liberate a country. Usually the residents of
that country rise up and liberate themselves. That's how we did
it. You can also do it through nonviolent, mass civil disobedience.
That's how India did it. You can get the world to boycott a regime
until they are so ostracized they capitulate. That's how South Africa did
it. Or you can just wait them out and, sooner or later, the king's
legions simply leave (sometimes just because they're too cold). That's how
Canada did it.

The one way that DOESN'T work is to invade a country and tell the
people, "We are here to liberate you!" -- when they have done NOTHING
to liberate themselves. Where were all the suicide bombers when
Saddam was oppressing them? Where were the insurgents planting bombs
along the roadside as the evildoer Saddam's convoy passed them by? I
guess ol' Saddam was a cruel despot -- but not cruel enough for
thousands to risk their necks. "Oh no, Mike, they couldn't do that! Saddam
would have had them killed!" Really? You don't think King George had
any of the colonial insurgents killed? You don't think Patrick Henry
or Tom Paine were afraid? That didn't stop them. When tens of thousands
aren't willing to shed their own blood to remove a dictator, that
should be the first clue that they aren't going to be willing
participants when you decide you're going to do the liberating
for them.

A country can HELP another people overthrow a tyrant (that's what the
French did for us in our revolution), but after you help them, you
leave. Immediately. The French didn't stay and tell us how to
set up our government. They didn't say, "we're not leaving because we
want your natural resources." They left us to our own devices and it
took us six years before we had an election. And then we had a
bloody civil war. That's what happens, and history is full of these
examples. The French didn't say, "Oh, we better stay in America, otherwise
they're going to kill each other over that slavery issue!"

The only way a war of liberation has a chance of succeeding is if the
oppressed people being liberated have their own citizens behind
them-- and a group of Washingtons, Jeffersons, Franklins, Gandhis and
Mandellas leading them. Where are these beacons of liberty in Iraq?

This is a joke and it's been a joke since the beginning. Yes, the
joke's been on us, but with 655,000 Iraqis now dead as a result
of our invasion (source: Johns Hopkins University), I guess the cruel
joke is on them. At least they've been liberated, permanently.

So I don't want to hear another word about sending more troops (wake
up, America, John McCain is bonkers), or "redeploying" them, or
waiting four months to begin the "phase-out." There is only one
solution and it is this: Leave. Now. Start tonight. Get out of
there as fast as we can. As much as people of good heart and conscience
don't want to believe this, as much as it kills us to accept
defeat, there is nothing we can do to undo the damage we have done. What's
happened has happened. If you were to drive drunk down the road
and you killed a child, there would be nothing you could do to
bring that child back to life. If you invade and destroy a country,
plunging it into a civil war, there isn't much you can do `til the smoke
settles and blood is mopped up. Then maybe you can atone for the
atrocity you have committed and help the living come back to a better life.

The Soviet Union got out of Afghanistan in 36 weeks. They did so and
suffered hardly any losses as they left. They realized the mistake
they had made and removed their troops. A civil war ensued. The bad
guys won. Later, we overthrew the bad guys and everybody lived happily
ever after. See! It all works out in the end!

The responsibility to end this war now falls upon the Democrats.
Congress controls the purse strings and the Constitution says only
Congress can declare war. Mr. Reid and Ms. Pelosi now hold the power
to put an end to this madness. Failure to do so will bring the wrath
of the voters. We aren't kidding around, Democrats, and if you don't
believe us, just go ahead and continue this war another month. We will
fight you harder than we did the Republicans. The opening page of my
website has a photo of Nancy Pelosi and Harry Reid, each made up by a
collage of photos of the American soldiers who have died in Bush's
War. But it is now about to become the Bush/Democratic Party War
unless swift action is taken.

This is what we demand:

1. Bring the troops home now. Not six months from now. NOW. Quit
looking for a way to win. We can't win. We've lost. Sometimes you
lose. This is one of those times. Be brave and admit it.

2. Apologize to our soldiers and make amends. Tell them we are sorry
they were used to fight a war that had NOTHING to do with our national
security. We must commit to taking care of them so that they suffer as
little as possible. The mentally and physically maimed must get the
best care and significant financial compensation. The families of the
deceased deserve the biggest apology and they must be taken care of
for the rest of their lives.

3. We must atone for the atrocity we have perpetuated on the people of
Iraq. There are few evils worse than waging a war based on a lie,
invading another country because you want what they have buried under
the ground. Now many more will die. Their blood is on our hands,
regardless for whom we voted. If you pay taxes, you have contributed
to the three billion dollars a week now being spent to drive Iraq into
the hellhole it's become. When the civil war is over, we will have to
help rebuild Iraq. We can receive no redemption until we have atoned.

In closing, there is one final thing I know. We Americans are better
than what has been done in our name. A majority of us were upset and
angry after 9/11 and we lost our minds. We didn't think straight and
we never looked at a map. Because we are kept stupid through our
pathetic education system and our lazy media, we knew nothing of
history. We didn't know that WE were the ones funding and arming
Saddam for many years, including those when he massacred the
Kurds. He was our guy. We didn't know what a Sunni or a Shiite was, never even
heard the words. Eighty percent of our young adults (according to
National Geographic) were not able to find Iraq on the map. Our
leaders played off our stupidity, manipulated us with lies, and scared
us to death.

But at our core we are a good people. We may be slow learners, but
that "Mission Accomplished" banner struck us as odd, and soon we began
to ask some questions. Then we began to get smart. By this past
November 7th, we got mad and tried to right our wrongs. The majority
now know the truth. The majority now feel a deep sadness and guilt and
a hope that somehow we can make make it all right again.

Unfortunately, we can't. So we will accept the consequences of our
actions and do our best to be there should the Iraqi people ever dare
to seek our help in the future. We ask for their forgiveness.

We demand the Democrats listen to us and get out of Iraq now.

Yours,

Michael Moore
www.michaelmoore.com
mmflint@aol.com 

leaving dec 4

Can't wait! Can't wait! Have a lot of work to do, but I'm so excited I can't concentrate!!

Who am I kidding, I usually can't concentrate anyway, but now I have a good excuse!!!

PTL, did finish a one-page dissertation prospectus, will turn it in to my chair in about an hour and a half. I've figured out she really does have a soft heart, so I kinda bargained her down to "1 page" re the prospectus, hahaha!!

fantastic concert!!

Went to a performance by a brass quintet called "Canadian Brass," and it was AMAZING!! Very very fun, and a wonderful performance. If you ever get a chance to hear them, you SHOULD GO!!!!!!

Michael Backman, Part II

The response to my recent column 'While Malaysia fiddles, its opportunities are running dry,' published in The Age newspaper on November 15 has been overwhelming. I've received hundreds of e-mails and messages, many from Malaysians both in Malaysia and outside, of which perhaps 95% have been supportive. Thank you for these. It seems that the column has given voice to concerns that many Malaysians have.

I'd like to emphasise (and as many of you realise already), that I wrote the column as constructive criticism. I like Malaysia very much. I visit often and have many Malaysian friends of all races. I've also written a lot that is positive about Malaysia in the past, most notably in a previous book of mine - The Asian Insider: Unconventional Wisdom for Asian Business, which has no less than five chapters to explain to people outside Malaysia why I feel that Malaysia should be given more credit than it gets.

There have been many achievements. There is much about which Malaysians can be proud. Malaysia, for example, is far more politically mature and developed than is Singapore. The media is more open too (but of course not as open as it could or should be.) Malaysians are more entrepreneurial too. AirAsia started in Malaysia and has revolutionised air travel across Asia. In Singapore, there is very much a sense that the government has to do everything.

I also believe that the NEP, which has seen special advantages given to bumiputeras over other groups, has been important for Malaysia. It has been essential for nation building. Malaysia is peaceful and while the various groups may not mix much there is clear mutual respect between them. That is a huge achievement.

However, the problem as I said in my column, is waste. And also the use of statistics that are blatantly wrong. Malaysia also has a big problem with transparency. Too little account is made of how other people's money is spent. The police too are way too corrupt for a country as developed as Malaysia. The rote learning that is practiced in the schools also needs to be done away with. Generations of Malaysian children are missing out on an education that should teach them how to be creative and critical - this is what a truly modern, boleh country needs. Again, my comments are meant to be constructive. And I make them as a non-Malaysian largely because many Malaysians feel rightly or wrongly that they cannot say these things themselves in their own country.

Since my column was published, plans for a new RM400 million Istana have been announced and the Agriculture Ministry parliamentary secretary has told Parliament that Malaysia's first astronaut will be playing batu seremban and spinning tops and making teh tarik while in space. There are countless scientists around the world who would give anything for the opportunity to go to space and do real experiments. For the Malaysian government to send an astronaut into space to play Malay children's games serves only to re-emphasise my point about waste. Not only that, it makes Malaysia look infantile in the eyes of the rest of the world, which is a great pity when Malaysia has made so many real achievements. The world is getting more clever, more competitive and more dynamic every day. There are too many in Malaysia who don't seem to understand this.

Of course my views are just that: my views. But I have spent most of my adult life analysing and writing about Asia. I am direct and critical; I do not veil my criticisms because I don't want to waste my time or yours with readers trying to guess what I really mean. Open debate is absolutely critical for all modern, dynamic countries. The free flow of ideas and information helps to make countries rich. Political leaders cannot do everything on their own be they in the UK, Australia or Malaysia. They need help. Otherwise they make mistakes. And when they do, whose fault is that? Those who prefer to stay quiet? And should I as a non-Malaysian be commenting on Malaysia? Of course. Malaysian political leaders and commentators routinely comment about other countries. That's how the world is now, an inter-dependent, global world. And the world is much better for it.

I will write another column about Malaysia soon.

Michael Backman
November 17 2006