Biblical theology of the city

Read an interesting article by Tim Keller on the city as place sanctified for His works. Very challenging . . . disturbing because I don't like cities. :) I mean that I don't like living in cities, which is why I guess I've thrived in places like Lewiston and Ithaca (not really major cities, if you know what I mean). The works possible in and through cities though . . . lots to think through.

It's Not Me, REALLY!!!!

I understand how some folks can misinterpret my blog entries and think that my dilemma has to do with me and a guy, namely, K-gan, whose picture I deleted from an earlier entry. But really, I took down that picture because I didn't like how I looked in it!!! K-gan and I are still good friends, and we're NOT dating and we will NOT date in the future, EVER! I will have no problems if the question ever comes up, but I don't think the question will come up! We're just friends, and in fact, there are other people in our little circle of friends . . . Morgan and H-nok, especially.

I must say that I need more friends outside of T-ride though. Need some breathing room. :):)

Update on that worrying situation:

It has been resolved! Again, I was not one of the two people involved in that situation, I was merely a witness. What I was most worried about in that situation was that I would be put into the position of judge, and I do not want to be in that position.

I have no problems speaking my mind about how I want to live my life; I do wish I speak with more grace about it, but I have no problems there.

What I struggle with is telling other people how they should live their lives. I don't want to do that! I'm not sure I'm supposed to be doing that! I wouldn't mind if people gave me feedback on how to deal with that part.

The final thing I will say about that unnameable situation is that Person X walked away from the kind of relationship Person Y proposed, and I am very relieved. I'll be honest here and say I have very different views from Person Y, and I have a soft spot for Person X who is wonderfully sensitive, smart, gentle, and mature . . . but who is also very young, and can sometimes be very vulnerable. I'm glad Person X finally decided one way or the other.

And I'm also glad that Person Y isn't asking me what I think about it!!

request

Please ask for wisdom on my behalf. I think people may put me in a position of being judgmental, or to actually verbalize my ethical stance on a particular situation. I don't want to comment on how other people make their decisions or live their lives; but I will not lie if they ask me about what I think. So I'm just really hoping they don't ask me because I know that this particular person will not listen. It probably will not be a helpful or pleasant conversation. Please ask that I don't actually have that conversation!!

scary

Sometimes, I feel like I live in a madhouse. I guess I'm finding out that I'm more conservative than I thought I was. There are a few people . . . okay, pretty much everyone I've talked to about this thing that's freaking me out (which I will not mention because I'm paranoid) is also freaked out by it. So maybe we're all conservatives on that account.

It just seems SO wrong!!!

And even though theoretically--and in other situations besides this one--I'm able to say to myself, "alright, they live by different value systems. We're not here to judge, we're called to love beyond anything else." My instinct in this case is to run, and to run as fast as I can in the opposite direction. Mind you, it isn't just based on this particular incident, but is true in other ways too. My instinct earlier was already to perhaps walk away slowly and unobtrusively, but now, it's just screaming RUN and damned be the consequences!!!

Let's just say that living in the Madhouse is . . . challenging, in many ways. I'm beginning to find out labels like "liberal" or "conservative" or "progressive" or "Christian" or "anything" no longer mean what I thought them to mean. Sometimes, they're pleasant surprises. Other times, I have to struggle really hard to keep my reactions to myself.

This is tough. Living in community is tough. Living with people who have very different value systems is tough. I'm sorry, I don't quite know how to work through this right now.

T-ride Formal Dinner

This is yet another post that reveals how much my life revolves around T-ride. Sigh.

The first picture is of me, H-nok (4th year PhD student in Development Sociology, Korea), and Huong (1st year MA in Public Administration, previously worked for the World Bank for 10 years before coming here, Vietnam). Huong says working for the World Bank was like a holiday compared to graduate school. These two women are among my closest friends in the house.

And the second picture is of T-ride women and the other women who were guests at the formal dinner.

finally, pictures from stockholm

I've finally downloaded the pictures I took during my 4 day layover in Stockholm! Need to delete them from my computer so I have space for Friday's trip to the yurt, and Saturday night's formal dinner at T-ride.

You can view the other pictures at this link:
Stockholm album.

Password is: 123456

More thoughts on T-ride

Yes, I'm having a lovely time living in T-ride, and it really feels like a family sometimes. K-gan (the guy on the left in the picture below) has adopted me as one of his older sisters; H-nok, a 4th year Korean grad student is his other older sister, and we're both also close friends. But I think we mostly think of each other as many cousins living in the same house. :) (28 of us this year, and 30 next year!)

It's not always fun and laughter though. Last Saturday, we had a preferment meeting where we decided to offer 4 spots to high-schoolers who completed the summer program, and put 8 of them on a wait-list. We began the meeting at 9am, and it was 10pm when we finally ended our meeting.

After that, some of us were really mad at some of us, and most people decided to have a party and have a few drinks to restore general goodwill and harmony in the house. Me included. I didn't drink that much, but I certainly had to drink a bit to regain happy feelings toward a few people in the house!

It was a "closed meeting" so I'm not allowed to talk about what went on during the meeting; I'll just say that it was sometimes vicious and combative. Everyone was really tired and unproductive this week.

Tomorrow night, most of us will be going to an overnight trip to a nearby yurt for a light camping trip. It's an enclosed space that will be warm, plus we'll have sleeping bags so it's not going to be too rough. I didn't want to go at first because I was SO tired out after that super-long meeting last weekend that I thought I needed some time away from T-riders. But since most of my friends from the house are going, I decided last minute to go with them too. :) Can't have them bond without me!!

a couple of the T-ride boys

K-gan is on my right, and Calvin on my left. K-gan is a junior in the Marines, and is an Urban Planning major. Calvin is a senior in History. Calvin is the practical joker who tried to make me think I was crazy. :) :)

really??

Am I intimidating?? Do I have a laser stare?? No, really, am I a scary person??

We've been doing interviews all weekend with the 19 high-schoolers who are applying to the dorm/Cornell. The foundation that funds our dorm also funds summer programs for high-schoolers who are then able to apply to live in the dorm.

Apparently, one of the boys I interviewed said (not to me, to other ppl) that I intimidated him because every time he looked at me, my stare was unwavering and intense, and he could feel this "rush of kinetic energy" (??), and it completely intimidated him so he had to stop looking my way.

I thought that was really funny because I was actually a little bored in the interview and my mind was starting to wander a little so I was trying really hard to focus on him and look interested and engaged.

But apparently all I managed to do was look scary and weird.

falling in love

. . . not with one person, but with my entire dorm. :) We had a Talent Night Show tonight, and I was just blown away by all the different acts: a comedy "blues" act with guitar and trumpet, an avant-garde piece (nothing happened), readings of stories, guitar/singing, Latin-Israeli dance, funnyman/straightman acts, lip-syncs to "Goldfinger," Aretha Franklin and the Backstreet Boys . . . these kids were really great. I had so much fun watching them.

Living here has really brought to life a range of emotions that I never would've felt had I continued to live off-campus in a tiny apt the landlords of Ithaca keep around for impoverished graduate students. It really is a kind of falling in love; messiness and all. :)

beer-pong!

Okay, so this is how you play beer-pong:

Stand across a long-ish narrow table (does not need to be a ping-pong table) from the other player, and line large plastic cups on both ends of the table. I think you can arrange it anyhow you like, but preferably not just in line. more like:

x x x x x

x x x x

x x x

I think. I can't remember really. :p

Anyway.

You can bounce a ping-pong ball toward your opponents end, and if the ping-pong ball enters the cup, your opponent has to drink it. Now, this is where it's different from ping-pong. If you bounce the ball, your opponent can swat it away from the cup, so the goal is to get the ball in without bouncing it. Kinda like throwing it straight into the cup.

I guess you could make it a non-alcoholic game, but I think it's really fun only when your senses are impaired by alcohol--swiping balls or bouncing balls on tables becomes much more fun under those conditions.

NOTA BENE: I don't play this game because I don't really drink, and I hate beer.

Second childhood

Just saw Jet Li's "Fearless" at the theaters tonight . . . with a couple of undergrad guys from my dorm. I predict that in three months' time, my only friends will be fellow Telluriders. The movie was really fun (I love Jet Li! I love martial arts movies!) and I'm learning that Keegan and Keith are really sweet guys.

Keegan is in the Marines, and an Urban Planning major, while Keith is a mathematician and a jazz musician. Keegan is really, really into being a Marine, so I'm learning a little more about that, especially since we both like to eat lunch right at 11:30am (along with Michael). Keith is the chair of the committee we're both on, and is a bit of a joker. They're all really funny actually, but Keith and Calvin are the more "serious" jokers.

I feel like I'm in college again. They're playing beer-pong in the dining room later tonight, but I will not be playing beer-pong with them since I learned during my college days that I'm allergic to beer.

Oh yeah, we're on Fall Break so that's why I went to see a movie on a Sunday night. Haven't done any work, but will work hard starting tomorrow!

accidents and offices

Was trying to get paper towels in the bathroom in my dept building (see, it's dangerous for me to hang around there!), and my hand slipped from the dispenser handle, and I cut my middle finger on the metal edging. It isn't that bad, but I need to use a band aid and can't really put any pressure on the area, so typing is a little complicated.

Oh yes, and I now have two office spaces I can use! I share a large student office space with 3 other students in the Kahin Center (houses the Southeast Asian Program), and it has a very large window but walking back from the Center is scary at night because there's a stretch of road that has bushes and trees on both sides. You can't tell if anyone's hiding in those bushes. One side is a cemetery (very picturesque during the day), and the other side is the back lawns of a couple of frat houses.

Prof 2 is in the Asian American Studies Program, and they have a very small office that 3 profs share. All the profs have larger offices in their home departments (my prof has a very sunny office in the English dept) so they only use the tiny shared office to hold their weekly office hours. Anyway, Prof 2 got the administrator to give me the keys to that office so I can use it when none of the other profs are there.

I mostly need the space to work at night because Rockefeller Hall is located in the center of campus, the elevator in the building is locked at night (and I have a key to that too!), and the big doors to the fourth floor where the office is are also locked.

That way when I'm in the office, I feel very safe because only staff/faculty have building access. I've had a somewhat . . . "interesting" relationship with this prof in the past (Prof 2 from a prev post) but this year's it's been going really well, thankfully. Oh the little things that make grad students happy . . .

no turkey trip

Was accepted to present at a conference in Turkey this Nov, but finally told the organizers I wouldn't be able to go because:

-- the ticket for the 4-day conference would be $820.
-- travel time one way would be around 20 hrs.
-- I haven't actually written the conference paper, so it would force me to write something, but doing it under pressure might turn the paper into something I may not be able to use for my dissertation. And right now, the dissertation should be top priority.

I felt really sad about not being able to see Turkey but I'm also actually very relieved because now I can read, think, and write at a saner pace. Still . . . Turkey! Sounds like it would've been fun, but as a friend who is now a prof on the West Coast said, if I don't have the mental or physical capacity to enjoy the trip . . .

(FALL IS HERE. VERY BRISK AND CHILLY.)

quick answers

I sit in on weekly house meetings because I'm required to . . . I don't do it for fun!! I have to attend 80% of all meetings, including 1-hr public speaking sessions by house members (everyone presents once a year), 1-hr lectures by professors (about 7-8 of them this semester), interviews of applicants to the dorm, and the meetings in which we decide which applicants will be accepted to live in the dorm. And so on and so forth.

I will be going to Puebla, Mexico! Puebla is 7100 feet above sea level!

Some of my students are already improving!! One student went from a C- in her first paper to an A- in her second paper! Others are inching along, but at least they are inching forward. :)

are you a student?

When I entered the classroom today, one of my students raised his hand and asked: "Are you a student?" I kinda looked down at my clothes (sneakers, 3/4-length pants, ratty t-shirt, and fleece vest), laughed, and said, yes, I'm a fifth year PhD student. They started laughing and said things like, oh, we didn't think you were a student, we thought you were a professor.

Most freshmen students will call their grad student instructors "professor" because they can't tell the difference, and it's nice when that happens. :) That means I'm doing something right!

I usually don't have disciplinary problems in the classroom, so I'm quite happy to be more or less informal with them. But right after that conversation, they were still chatting when I wanted to start class, so I grabbed my library book and slammed it on the table really, really hard. That got their attention alright. :):)

travel dates

I just bought my plane ticket for winter break, and I leave NYC on Dec 4, and then depart from KL on Jan 11! I felt teary when I confirmed my KL-NYC departure date. But I'm thankful that I can even be home for that period of time.

Life here has continued to go well. I saw Prof 2 at a talk today, and we actually had a short, friendly, non-awkward conversation. My chair was a discussant at the talk so we didn't chat because I had to run off to meet a few of my over-anxious students who wanted me to look at their papers.

I will also be going to Mexico next April for the annual American Comparative Literature Association conference!!! Very excited about that!

chaos revisited

I can't wait to get home for winter break this year. Ithaca's been really good so far, but I'm beginning to feel a little tired now. I'm leaving this weekend for a badminton tournament in Rochester, so I have to finish a whole bunch of work before I leave.

And when I get back on Monday, my kids will be turning in their second paper, so I'll be grading, grading, grading again! Still, they've been wonderful in class so far. I got a bunch of interested, responsible, and engaged students this semester, so teaching is fun and exciting.

The house is reading applications by high-schoolers applying to Cornell, and to live in the house, so I have to finish reading 42 application packages by this Fri. I've gone through about half, and they're pretty much all really brilliant and interesting. They've all gone through the summer version of what Telluride House is during the academic year, so I'm not surprised at the strength of their writing. And they all seem to be really nice human beings too.

Anyway.

little steps

Just had a meeting with Prof No. 2 on my special committee (1 chair, 3 members), and am feeling really good about getting to work. Of course, I haven't actually done any work, but I did put out one of my ideas in our meeting, and Prof 2 thinks it might turn out to be a good way to get started.

Prof 2 also gave me a few tips on how to set daily writing routines, and even though Prof 2 made it clear that I can't actually choose not to do the writing, I'm okay with it and am glad that Prof 2 is invested in seeing me finish my project. And to think I began the semester intending to go it alone.

I'm actually excited about getting into the work again, isn't that surprising? I think it's also because Prof 2 helped me see it not as a huge monumental project, but as small bits of writing that does not have to be brilliant right away.

Well, it may not be brilliant at all, but I do have to finish this project. :)

Be It Resolved That . . . (BIRTs)

So far I don't think we've had a weekly house-meeting that ends in 2 hours. The first two weeks, our meetings were about 4 hours, and yesterday's meeting took three hours. What did we talk about for three hours?

Well, for TWO WHOLE HOURS, we talked about . . . magazines.

That's right. MAGAZINES. We debated which magazines we'll be buying for the house magazine rack. Magazines we can read while we're eating breakfast or midnight snacks. TWO HOURS.

I think we spent about 20 minutes on 3-4 other resolutions before coming to the last item which took up the rest of the meeting: GUITAR HERO.

GUITAR HERO, as I found out, is a computer game. We debated the merits of buying a computer game, and how it would foster social interaction in the house, and the academic vigors of studying how computer games are changing the terrain of human interaction.

The resolution narrowly passed, and the said computer game is on its way to our house.

See what happens when you give undergrads that much power? To find out more about the dorm I live in, please go to this website.

fat-dom

The chefs (one for weekdays, and one for weekends) who work in our dorm kitchen are pretty amazing cooks. The pseudo-Asian (usually Thai-ish) dishes aren't that great, but everything else turns out really yummy.

I'm trying not to eat so much, but apparently all house members put on weight during their tenure at the house.

Today for brunch we had sweet potato home fries, vegan tofu scrambled eggs, vegan peach pancakes, buckwheat blueberry pancakes, and melon coconut smoothies.

apropos, given my meeting yesterday with my advisor

09/6/06
The Work of Faith
Jill Carattini

There are days when I wonder what it would be like to be a physician or aphoto journalist or a designer of advertisements. But these are almostalways days when I feel like I'm not cutting it as a writer. There areprobably men and women who feel they are always capable of the task beforethem. There are probably those who never feel as though the demands ofvocation and their supply of talent are at odds. There are perhaps even those among us who work and never grow weary--despite result or outcome. But I suspect many of us feel otherwise. No one ever tells you on careerday that the glove may fit, but the work of your hands may still cause calluses.

Over Labor Day weekend, I was reading about the making of the tabernacle. The instructions given to Moses were explicit, and excellence was clearly expected. "The work of a skilled craftsman" was demanded for everythingfrom the curtains and the woodwork to the oil and the incense. Much ofthe book of Exodus reads like an employee manual or a progress report inwhich "every skilled person to whom the LORD has given skill and ability"labors to do the work and completes each task just as the LORD commanded.

In a moment of defeat, it might make us feel all the more inadequate. Thework of skilled craftsmen appears everywhere. "For the entrance to thetent, they made a curtain of blue, purple, and scarlet yarn and finelytwisted linen--the work of a fine embroiderer" (Exodus 36:37). "They madethe sacred anointing oil and the pure, fragrant incense--the work of aperfumer" (37:29). "They hammered out thin sheets of gold and cut strandsto be worked into the blue, purple, and scarlet yarn and fine linen--thework of a skilled craftsman" (39:3). Everything they set out toaccomplish was completed exactly as the LORD commanded. There is noindication that the labor was easy, but the craftsmen of Israel walkedaway from their work knowing they had done well.

Hopefully there are days when this can be said of the work of our ownhands--that we are craftsmen accomplishing what God would have us toaccomplish, men and women using the skills and abilities God has given forthe tasks He has placed before us. But chances are this isn't always thecase. We may very well labor with the skills God has given, and yet bewithout the affirmation of any sort of accomplishment. We may even walkaway with a sense of defeat, the fatigue of callused hands, or thecomplaint of unclear instruction. Perhaps for good reason, it is notalways his way to make clear the weight of our labor.

In his letter to the Corinthians, Paul insists, "For we are God's fellowworkers; you are God's field, God's building. By the grace God has given me, I laid a foundation as an expert builder, and someone else is building on it. But each one should be careful how he builds" (1 Corinthians3:9-10). Our work is undergirded by a builder whose plans we don't yet see. Nonetheless, we are called to build. It is reminiscent of the line in C.S. Lewis's Perelanda: "One never can see, or not till long afterwards, why any one was selected for any job. And when one does, it is usually some reason that leaves no room for vanity. Certainly, it is never for what the man himself would have regarded as his chief qualifications."

Standing before the completed tabernacle, Moses inspected the work and saw that they had done it just as the LORD had commanded. So he blessed them and then set to work himself. When Moses finished everything God had instructed of him and all the labor was finished on the tabernacle, the completed work of the skilled craftsmen was transfigured by the arrival ofGod's glory: "Then the cloud covered the Tent of Meeting, and the glory ofthe LORD filled the tabernacle" (Exodus 40:34). The work of our hands has no better end.

Jill Carattini is senior associate writer at Ravi Zacharias International Ministries in Atlanta, Georgia.

here we go, here we go again

The very first sentence of the very first student-paper I graded this semester:

"War is a final plight by cultures for the protection of theories and observances."

Help me.
Help me.
Help me.
Please.

Quotation from Emerging Scholars Network

"Thou, O Christ..., make us strong to overcome the desire to be wise and to be reputed wise by others as ignorant as ourselves."

-- A. W. Tozer, _The Knowledge of theHoly_ (1961)

here we go again

It's really funny. I had a pretty good first week in Ithaca, but now the stress and anxiety are slowly returning. I have a pretty good idea why, but I suppose I'll just have to keep struggling with all the negative feelings and the fears.

On a brighter note, dorm life has been time-consuming (very much so), but it's also been going well and the people in the house are really interesting to talk to and to observe.

Someone in my CF shared this post below, and I really enjoyed it:

He kept dragging his feet.

About this month last year I and a group of friends decided to set out to find success. My friends decided to set out immediately but I thought I should first spend sometime talking to My Lord about it.

"Jesus" I said "I want to be just like you. I want to do the extraordinary. I want to excel in all areas of my life. Lord I want to be a champion; I want to soar above the clouds of success. Lord I am really thinking big I want to be EVERYTHING you have planned for me to be. Lord Unleash the champion in me."

The Lord smiled as he looked at me. "Well done my child" he said "I am so glad you have chosen the highest calling of life and I am glad you have come to me for help. For I know the best way to get there. We will set off first thing tomorrow. Consider this your beginning my child, at first light tomorrow we begin.

I got myself ready that night. Sleep was the last thing on my mind. I kept imagining the great things I was going to accomplish. I could already see the best life had to offer, lined up in front of me to take up. One by one my mind accessed them. Then finally, I went to bed, anxious to start this high call.

The Lord kept his promise at first light he came to my door. I was eager to get started. I swung my backpack on my shoulder, fastened my boots and grabbed my torch just in case we would be out till late. We set out and my heart wouldn’t stop racing. I knew there was so much in store for me.

At times we walked side by side; at times the Lord carried me in his strong arms. But then during our walk I noticed there were several times my Lord slowed down, and so many times he wanted us to stop for a rest. At times I thought he was simply dragging his feet! He seemed more interested in showing me the scenery than getting to the place of success.

"My Lord," I finally cried "much faster," and as politely as I could I added "You know I can’t wait to get to this beautiful place." At times he did hurry at times he seemed to slow down even more! "Patience my child" he said "patience."

I tried to make the most of the journey and ask him about my assignments. "Lord, what will be my first assignment? I am sure there will be much to do." "Indeed my child" he replied "that is why your first assignment will be, to learn to trust."

"To trust?" I asked "What do you mean my Lord?" "When the toughest storms in life come at you," he replied "and the winds of life push your boat seemingly off course, I want you my child to trust that I am right beside you in the midst of the storms and that the wind blows at my command."

I grew sad, I thought about how far we had already come and how crucial this journey was at this point in my life "and yet he now tells me to simply trust!" I remembered how he was dragging his feet. I thought about my other friends and how they should have already attained success.

I was so deep in thought I didn’t realize, when my Lord picked me up to carry me again. "Lord" I finally said "is there anything else you would like me to do now?" "Yes my child" he said softly "right now I would like you too keep still."

"Keep still my Lord?!" I was furious. "But I thought I am going to get to do great works!" "My Lord" I said "then why did we set out if it was only to keep still? Lord I am so ready to work, look, I brought my tools! Lord I am so ready to push, so ready to pull. Lord I even brought my best boots! Why my Lord; why keep still when there is so much to do?"

"I know my child" he whispered, "I saw your tools and boots but right now please be still; I am carrying you through the den of lions where many of your friends lost their lives.

new laptop!

. . . But I prefer my old one! Dell was having a sale on laptops so I got my new one for $485 plus a free printer. However, the thing looks like it's from the stone age. I think it's supposed to be faster than my old one but my old laptop actually feels faster than this new one!!

Now I have to set it up with the software that my university uses for administrative things. Don't have all my fave websites either, but I suppose I'll build all that up again.

But no complaints! It's nice having my own computer again. Trying to use the dorm's public computers has been a pain. Apparently most ppl here have computers, but many of them like to use the public ones. Haven't actually started writing yet, but will soon. Am waiting for the building manager to put in a large bookshelf in the office space I share with 3 other students so I can arrange my books.

I start teaching on Monday!

and hello!

Waiting for the secretary of my dept to open up the office, so decided to waste some time.:)

Got in this morning at about 2am, and slept only a couple of hours before getting up and trying to arrange my stuff. Being back here feels really strange. It's as if all that time back home never happened at all, and I just jumped through time and appeared in the future. You can't escape Cornell.

Had a pretty good time in Stockholm, but haven't figured out how I'm going to download and save pictures from my memory card now that I don't have my laptop with me. I had a safe trip, although I do have a few funny stories . . . but I can't seem to remember them now . . . maybe it's the jet lag.

Oh yes, on the journey from KL-Stockholm, I got bumped up into business class!!!!!!! That was very, very exciting because the chairs turned into flat beds!! I actually slept a little and did not spend time wishing I was dead.

bye bye

I'm off in a few hrs! Have to send off some comments on a friend's dissertation (long-promised, but been procrastinating, what else) and I have to finish packing!! Not supposed to sleep the entire night so I can sleep on the plane. When I get to Stockholm it'll be afternoon, so I want to be up and about and not crashing in my hotel room.

The latest restrictions on luggage and carry-on's have made me decide to leave my laptop in Malaysia (complicated story) since I'll be away for 3.5 months before coming back for a film conference and for Christmas hols.

I will miss my laptop!! Will have to haunt the campus computer dorms since I'm supposed to write A LOT this semester. Sigh. Sigh. Sigh.

here we go again

Leaving in two days. Butterflies in tummy. Feel awful. This doesn't get easier with time.

Can't imagine how much worse it'd be if I weren't coming back again December (for a conference in KL).

Much to look forward to in Ithaca (old friends, to be specific), but it still kinda sucks.

repetition

I know it's a small thing to be miffed about . . . but do you have friends who seem to have no recollection of certain kinds of conversations even though you've had those conversations at least twice? If I remember telling X about a certain thing, shouldn't X remember that certain thing? Kinda makes me feel like that person wasn't really listening in the first place anyway.

This is why I'm the kind of person who has many acquantainces and few friends.